PART 15 – I Began to See How Easily Six Million Dollars Could Change the Way I Looked at My Grandmother Before I Knew What She Intended

The number had a way of taking over my thoughts.

Six million dollars.

I could start thinking about Grandma, and within a few moments I would be thinking about the check again.

It was as if the amount had become more important than the person who had written it.

I didn't like that.

I didn't want money to become the only thing I noticed about my grandmother.

But I couldn't deny that the check had changed how I thought about her.

Before the bank visit, I had believed I understood her circumstances well enough.

Afterward, I knew that my understanding had limits I hadn't recognized.

I didn't know what those limits meant.

I only knew they were there.

I found myself wondering whether I had overlooked things about Grandma because they hadn't seemed important before.

Had I assumed too much about what she could afford?

Had I mistaken a familiar way of living for a complete picture of her finances?

Had I simply never thought to ask?

I couldn't answer those questions with certainty.

What I could admit was that I had made assumptions.

I had treated my impression of her as though it were the same as knowing her circumstances.

It wasn't.

The check had exposed that difference.

I needed to be careful not to go too far in the other direction.

The fact that Grandma had written a large check didn't mean every assumption I had made about her was wrong.

It didn't mean I suddenly understood her better.

It meant I had learned something that challenged what I thought I knew.

That was all.

I had to let the discovery remain what it was without turning it into a complete judgment of her life.

I kept thinking about the signature.

It was such a small thing compared with the amount.

Yet it was the detail that connected the check to my memories of her.

The bank had compared it with the signature on file.

I recognized it because I had seen her write her name before.

That familiarity was real.

So was my lack of understanding.

For a while, I had treated those two things as if they couldn't exist together.

If I knew her handwriting, I thought I should understand the person behind it.

That was unreasonable.

People could be close to one another without knowing every detail of each other's lives.

I knew that in theory.

I had been slower to accept it in my own family.

The other checks made the situation even more difficult to interpret.

Grandma had included my parents, Eric, Olivia, Aunt Diane, and Uncle Martin.

It wasn't a decision that involved me alone.

That made me wonder about the larger intention.

Had she wanted to do something for the family as a whole?

Had she considered each person separately?

Had she arrived at the decision for reasons I hadn't imagined?

I had no way to know.

I could keep asking myself those questions, but I couldn't answer them honestly.

I needed information I didn't have.

That meant accepting that some of my questions would remain unanswered for a while.

I also needed to remember that the bank's work was not a measure of Grandma's intentions.

The additional verification was a normal response to an extraordinary transaction.

It wasn't evidence that the check was fraudulent.

It wasn't evidence that my grandmother had done anything wrong.

It was a process the bank needed to complete.

I had to stop treating the delay as though it were a judgment on the entire situation.

Edward had explained the requirements clearly.

I trusted that he was telling me what the bank needed to do.

Now I needed to give the process time.

I could not make the money available by worrying about it.

I could not make Grandma's reasons clearer by repeating the amount to myself.

And I could not make my family easier to understand by deciding what everyone else must be thinking.

All I could do was remain honest about what I knew.

The check appeared legitimate.

The review remained unfinished.

Grandma had included several members of the family.

And I was still trying to understand why.

It wasn't a complete answer.

It was the truth.

Click here to continue reading: PART 16: I Had Wanted the Bank to Settle Everything, but I Finally Understood That Its Answer Could Only Take Me So Far