The photograph fell out of the album the next morning.<\/p>\n
I found it beneath the wardrobe while looking for a pair of slippers.<\/p>\n
At first, I thought it was an old receipt.<\/p>\n
Then I saw the photograph.<\/p>\n
\u201cArvind.\u201d<\/p>\n
He came from the balcony.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
I held it up.<\/p>\n
He took it from me.<\/p>\n
His expression changed.<\/p>\n
It was a photograph from the first year of our marriage.<\/p>\n
Neither of us remembered taking it.<\/p>\n
We were standing outside a railway station.<\/p>\n
Young.<\/p>\n
Tired.<\/p>\n
Laughing.<\/p>\n
Arvind was holding two paper cups of tea.<\/p>\n
I was holding a newspaper.<\/p>\n
On the back, someone had written a date.<\/p>\n
And beneath it, a sentence.<\/p>\n
I read it aloud.<\/p>\n
\u201cFirst year. Still learning.\u201d<\/p>\n
Arvind smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cYour handwriting.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou remember?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course.\u201d<\/p>\n
I turned the photograph over again.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don't remember this day.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI do.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat happened?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe missed the train.\u201d<\/p>\n
I laughed.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause you wanted tea.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou wanted tea.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. You wanted tea.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou were the one holding two cups.\u201d<\/p>\n
He smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cI bought one for you.\u201d<\/p>\n
The memory returned slowly.<\/p>\n
We had been newly married.<\/p>\n
Money was tight.<\/p>\n
We had missed our train.<\/p>\n
We had sat outside the station sharing tea.<\/p>\n
Nothing important had happened.<\/p>\n
Yet somehow, we had been happy.<\/p>\n
I stared at the photograph.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe were so young.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDid you ever think we would become like this?\u201d<\/p>\n
He shook his head.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMe neither.\u201d<\/p>\n
He took the photograph.<\/p>\n
\u201cI think everyone believes marriage changes slowly.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDoesn't it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSometimes.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked at the image.<\/p>\n
\u201cSometimes it changes in one night.\u201d<\/p>\n
I knew what he meant.<\/p>\n
The photograph went back into the album.<\/p>\n
But the memory stayed.<\/p>\n
That afternoon, Arvind received another call from the clinic.<\/p>\n
This time, the nurse wanted to confirm his medication.<\/p>\n
He answered every question.<\/p>\n
Afterward, he looked amused.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey asked whether I am following the diet.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
I stared.<\/p>\n
He sighed.<\/p>\n
\u201cMostly.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat means no.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt means mostly.\u201d<\/p>\n
I shook my head.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou are impossible.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou married me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI was young.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo was I.\u201d<\/p>\n
We laughed.<\/p>\n
Then I noticed something.<\/p>\n
His hands were trembling.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you tired?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cA little.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSit.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI am fine.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cArvind.\u201d<\/p>\n
He sat.<\/p>\n
I brought water.<\/p>\n
He drank.<\/p>\n
The tremor passed.<\/p>\n
But I felt fear return.<\/p>\n
The kind that settles beneath the ribs.<\/p>\n
I hated it.<\/p>\n
I hated how quickly one small symptom could take me back to the hospital.<\/p>\n
Arvind saw my face.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon't.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon't start imagining the worst.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can't help it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou can.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cStay here.\u201d<\/p>\n
I looked at him.<\/p>\n
\u201cHere?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIn this room. With me. Not in tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n
The words were simple.<\/p>\n
But they worked.<\/p>\n
I sat beside him.<\/p>\n
His breathing slowed.<\/p>\n
Mine did too.<\/p>\n
We had spent years living in the past.<\/p>\n
Then years fearing the future.<\/p>\n
Perhaps the hardest thing was the present.<\/p>\n
The present demanded nothing except attention.<\/p>\n
That evening, Priya brought her daughter.<\/p>\n
The little girl ran straight to the balcony.<\/p>\n
\u201cGrandpa!\u201d<\/p>\n
Arvind smiled.<\/p>\n
She held a flower in her fist.<\/p>\n
\u201cFor you.\u201d<\/p>\n
He took it.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere did you get this?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFrom Grandma's plant.\u201d<\/p>\n
I looked at her.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou stole it?\u201d<\/p>\n
She giggled.<\/p>\n
\u201cI borrowed it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Arvind laughed.<\/p>\n
He placed the flower behind my ear.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere.\u201d<\/p>\n
I touched it.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou're ridiculous.\u201d<\/p>\n
His granddaughter laughed.<\/p>\n
\u201cGrandpa loves Grandma.\u201d<\/p>\n
The room went silent.<\/p>\n
Priya looked at me.<\/p>\n
I looked at Arvind.<\/p>\n
He smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
The little girl nodded as though she had solved something important.<\/p>\n
\u201cGood.\u201d<\/p>\n
Then she ran away.<\/p>\n
I looked at Arvind.<\/p>\n
He shrugged.<\/p>\n
\u201cChildren are honest.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMaybe adults should try it.\u201d<\/p>\n
I smiled.<\/p>\n
That night, after everyone left, I asked him a question.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you ever think about Sameer?\u201d<\/p>\n
Arvind did not flinch.<\/p>\n
\u201cSometimes.\u201d<\/p>\n
I waited.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked at me.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you miss him?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
The answer surprised even me.<\/p>\n
I thought about the person I had once been.<\/p>\n
I had believed Sameer represented freedom.<\/p>\n
Now I understood that I had not been seeking freedom.<\/p>\n
I had been seeking reassurance that I was still desirable.<\/p>\n
That someone could look at me without seeing the exhausted wife, the mother, the daughter-in-law, the woman who had spent years taking care of everyone.<\/p>\n
I had wanted to feel chosen.<\/p>\n
I had gone looking for that feeling in the wrong place.<\/p>\n
I looked at Arvind.<\/p>\n
\u201cI wish I had told you I felt invisible.\u201d<\/p>\n
He nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cI wish I had asked.\u201d<\/p>\n
Neither sentence changed history.<\/p>\n
But both changed the future.<\/p>\n
He reached for my hand.<\/p>\n
I took his.<\/p>\n
We sat together.<\/p>\n
Then he said, \u201cI don't blame him anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n
I looked at him.<\/p>\n
\u201cSameer?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause he wasn't responsible for our marriage.\u201d<\/p>\n
The statement surprised me.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou're right.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI blamed him for years.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe became easier to hate than the truth.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat truth?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat I had stopped asking you what you needed.\u201d<\/p>\n
I squeezed his hand.<\/p>\n
\u201cI stopped asking you too.\u201d<\/p>\n
He nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe were both disappearing.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd neither of us noticed.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUntil we did.\u201d<\/p>\n
The silence afterward was peaceful.<\/p>\n
Later, we went to bed.<\/p>\n
Arvind turned toward me.<\/p>\n
\u201cCome closer.\u201d<\/p>\n
I moved.<\/p>\n
He rested his forehead against mine.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don't want our children to think marriage means suffering quietly.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNeither do I.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen we have to show them something else.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat people can admit when they are wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n
I smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat may be difficult for you.\u201d<\/p>\n
He laughed.<\/p>\n
\u201cI have admitted enough for one lifetime.\u201d<\/p>\n
I kissed his cheek.<\/p>\n
He looked surprised.<\/p>\n
Then he smiled.<\/p>\n
It was not the passionate kiss I had once imagined after eighteen years of distance.<\/p>\n
It was better.<\/p>\n
It was familiar.<\/p>\n
Safe.<\/p>\n
Earned.<\/p>\n
The next morning, the photograph from the railway station was gone from the table.<\/p>\n
Arvind had put it back in the album.<\/p>\n
I found him looking through the pages.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat are you doing?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cRemembering.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cEverything?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
He closed the album.<\/p>\n
\u201cOnly enough.\u201d<\/p>\n
I understood.<\/p>\n
That was the lesson we had been learning.<\/p>\n
Not to forget.<\/p>\n
Not to remember everything all the time.<\/p>\n
Enough.<\/p>\n
Enough to honor what happened.<\/p>\n
Enough to avoid repeating it.<\/p>\n
Enough to appreciate what remained.<\/p>\n
That afternoon, we sat beneath the jasmine.<\/p>\n
The flowers were beginning to fall.<\/p>\n
Arvind gathered the petals.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon't throw them away.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat will you do with them?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNothing.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen why keep them?\u201d<\/p>\n
He smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause they were beautiful.\u201d<\/p>\n
I looked at him.<\/p>\n
\u201cEven when they are finished?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cEspecially then.\u201d<\/p>\n
I thought about the years between us.<\/p>\n
Perhaps that was what he meant.<\/p>\n
A thing could be finished without becoming meaningless.<\/p>\n
A marriage could change without becoming worthless.<\/p>\n
A person could make a terrible mistake without becoming only that mistake.<\/p>\n
A life could carry scars and still be worth living.<\/p>\n
I rested my head against his shoulder.<\/p>\n
He leaned his cheek against my hair.<\/p>\n
The jasmine scent surrounded us.<\/p>\n
For once, I did not think about the past.<\/p>\n
I did not think about the future.<\/p>\n
I simply stayed.<\/p>\n
The photograph fell out of the album the next morning. I found it beneath the wardrobe while looking for a pair of slippers. At first, I thought it was an … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6806,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6817","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-insightdrama"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6817","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6817"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6817\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6833,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6817\/revisions\/6833"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/6806"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6817"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6817"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6817"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}