I thought leaving the dining room would make me feel better.<\/p>\n
It didn't.<\/p>\n
My legs were shaking by the time I reached the front hallway.<\/p>\n
Danny held my hand.<\/p>\n
His dinosaur coloring book was tucked beneath his other arm.<\/p>\n
I hadn't even remembered to tell him to bring his crayons.<\/p>\n
That was how confused I felt.<\/p>\n
Behind us, I could hear Linda speaking.<\/p>\n
Her voice had changed.<\/p>\n
She wasn't using the soft, reasonable tone she'd used at dinner.<\/p>\n
She sounded frightened.<\/p>\n
"Margaret, you cannot just walk out like this."<\/p>\n
Aunt Margaret didn't turn around.<\/p>\n
She reached for her coat.<\/p>\n
Then she looked at me.<\/p>\n
"Lydia, do you have your car keys?"<\/p>\n
I nodded.<\/p>\n
They were already in my hand.<\/p>\n
The little silver heart swung against my fingers.<\/p>\n
Margaret noticed it.<\/p>\n
For a second, her expression tightened.<\/p>\n
Then she opened the front door.<\/p>\n
Cold December air entered the hallway.<\/p>\n
I took Danny outside.<\/p>\n
My father followed us onto the porch.<\/p>\n
"Lydia, sweetheart, please."<\/p>\n
I stopped.<\/p>\n
Not because I wanted to hear another explanation.<\/p>\n
Because I couldn't remember the last time he'd called me sweetheart without wanting something from me.<\/p>\n
He looked older than he had during dinner.<\/p>\n
His shoulders were bent.<\/p>\n
His face was pale.<\/p>\n
I waited.<\/p>\n
He glanced toward the open doorway.<\/p>\n
Linda was standing behind him.<\/p>\n
Of course she was.<\/p>\n
"I know this looks terrible," he said.<\/p>\n
I stared at him.<\/p>\n
"Does it only look terrible?"<\/p>\n
He lowered his eyes.<\/p>\n
I felt Danny's small fingers tighten around mine.<\/p>\n
My father took another step.<\/p>\n
"We were going to explain."<\/p>\n
"When?"<\/p>\n
He didn't answer.<\/p>\n
"After Emma finished school? After Aunt Margaret forgot about it? After Danny grew up?"<\/p>\n
"Lydia."<\/p>\n
"No, Dad. Tell me when."<\/p>\n
He looked toward Margaret.<\/p>\n
She was standing beside the car.<\/p>\n
She didn't interrupt.<\/p>\n
For once, she was letting my father answer for himself.<\/p>\n
He rubbed his forehead.<\/p>\n
"I didn't know how to handle it."<\/p>\n
I wanted to believe him.<\/p>\n
That was an old habit.<\/p>\n
I had spent years believing the best version of every excuse he gave me.<\/p>\n
But I couldn't do it anymore.<\/p>\n
"You could have given me the keys."<\/p>\n
He looked at my hand.<\/p>\n
The silver heart caught the porch light.<\/p>\n
I saw him notice it.<\/p>\n
His expression changed.<\/p>\n
"I know."<\/p>\n
Two words.<\/p>\n
That was all he had.<\/p>\n
I nodded.<\/p>\n
Then I turned away.<\/p>\n
Danny and I walked toward Margaret's car.<\/p>\n
She opened the back door for him.<\/p>\n
He climbed inside and placed his coloring book on the seat.<\/p>\n
I helped him fasten his seat belt.<\/p>\n
Usually, he talked constantly when we got into a car.<\/p>\n
He asked where we were going.<\/p>\n
Whether we could stop for a snack.<\/p>\n
What time we would get home.<\/p>\n
That night, he was quiet.<\/p>\n
I brushed his hair away from his forehead.<\/p>\n
"Are you okay, honey?"<\/p>\n
He nodded.<\/p>\n
Then he asked something I wasn't prepared for.<\/p>\n
"Mom, did Aunt Emma take our house?"<\/p>\n
I felt my throat close.<\/p>\n
I hadn't realized how much he'd understood.<\/p>\n
Children hear more than adults think.<\/p>\n
Especially children who have spent years watching their parents worry.<\/p>\n
I sat beside him for a moment.<\/p>\n
"She was staying in a place Aunt Margaret wanted us to have."<\/p>\n
"Is it our place?"<\/p>\n
I looked toward the front of the car.<\/p>\n
Margaret was standing outside, giving us a moment.<\/p>\n
"Yes," I said carefully. "That's what Aunt Margaret told us."<\/p>\n
Danny thought about that.<\/p>\n
"Does it have a bedroom?"<\/p>\n
I couldn't answer immediately.<\/p>\n
I looked at the dinosaur book on his lap.<\/p>\n
Then at his little shoes.<\/p>\n
I thought about the curtain around his bed.<\/p>\n
"I don't know yet."<\/p>\n
He nodded.<\/p>\n
Then he looked out the window.<\/p>\n
"I hope it has a door."<\/p>\n
I turned my face away.<\/p>\n
That was the moment I cried.<\/p>\n
Not loudly.<\/p>\n
Not the way Emma had cried at dinner.<\/p>\n
A few tears fell before I could stop them.<\/p>\n
I wiped them away with my sleeve.<\/p>\n
Danny didn't notice.<\/p>\n
Or maybe he pretended not to.<\/p>\n
Margaret got into the driver's seat.<\/p>\n
She looked at us in the rearview mirror.<\/p>\n
"Ready?"<\/p>\n
I nodded.<\/p>\n
She started the car.<\/p>\n
We pulled away from my father's house.<\/p>\n
I watched the Christmas lights disappear behind us.<\/p>\n
For years, I had measured my behavior at family gatherings.<\/p>\n
I was careful not to upset Linda.<\/p>\n
Careful not to embarrass my father.<\/p>\n
Careful not to make Emma feel judged.<\/p>\n
That night, I left without saying goodbye.<\/p>\n
And I felt guilty.<\/p>\n
Looking back, that guilt makes me sad.<\/p>\n
Even after everything they'd done, part of me was worried I'd been rude.<\/p>\n
Margaret drove in silence for several minutes.<\/p>\n
Then she spoke.<\/p>\n
"I owe you an apology."<\/p>\n
I looked at her.<\/p>\n
"For what?"<\/p>\n
"I should have given you the apartment myself."<\/p>\n
"You didn't know."<\/p>\n
"I trusted Richard."<\/p>\n
She gripped the steering wheel.<\/p>\n
"I thought he would do one simple thing."<\/p>\n
I leaned back against the seat.<\/p>\n
"You bought me an apartment?"<\/p>\n
She glanced at me.<\/p>\n
"Yes."<\/p>\n
"For four hundred thousand dollars?"<\/p>\n
"That's what I paid."<\/p>\n
I looked out the window.<\/p>\n
Cars passed us.<\/p>\n
Families were probably driving home from Christmas dinners.<\/p>\n
People were opening presents.<\/p>\n
Children were falling asleep in back seats.<\/p>\n
And I was sitting in my aunt's car trying to understand how a gift that large could have been kept from me.<\/p>\n
"Why?" I asked.<\/p>\n
Margaret didn't answer immediately.<\/p>\n
She waited until we stopped at a red light.<\/p>\n
Then she looked at me.<\/p>\n
"Because I wanted you and Danny to have a home."<\/p>\n
I swallowed.<\/p>\n
"You didn't have to do that."<\/p>\n
"I know."<\/p>\n
"That's so much money."<\/p>\n
"I know that too."<\/p>\n
I shook my head.<\/p>\n
"I don't understand."<\/p>\n
Margaret looked toward the road.<\/p>\n
"I spent six months wondering whether I'd get to see another Christmas."<\/p>\n
I didn't speak.<\/p>\n
She continued.<\/p>\n
"During those months, you came to my house after working all day. You brought Danny. You sat beside me when I felt sick. You made sure I took my medicine."<\/p>\n
I remembered those evenings.<\/p>\n
The drive.<\/p>\n
The hospital chairs.<\/p>\n
The smell of the cancer center.<\/p>\n
The times I was so tired I forgot whether I'd eaten.<\/p>\n
"Anyone would have done that," I said.<\/p>\n
Margaret shook her head.<\/p>\n
"No, Lydia. They wouldn't."<\/p>\n
I knew she was right.<\/p>\n
I just hated hearing it.<\/p>\n
She took a breath.<\/p>\n
"When I finished treatment, I started thinking about what mattered to me."<\/p>\n
I watched her hands.<\/p>\n
They were steady now.<\/p>\n
"I have enough money to live comfortably. I don't have children of my own. And I know how hard you've been working."<\/p>\n
"Aunt Margaret\u2014"<\/p>\n
"Let me finish."<\/p>\n
I fell silent.<\/p>\n
"I knew you wouldn't accept a large check. You'd worry about it. You'd try to give some back. You'd tell me to spend it on myself."<\/p>\n
I gave a small, embarrassed laugh.<\/p>\n
She knew me.<\/p>\n
Of course she knew me.<\/p>\n
"So I decided to buy you something you couldn't talk me out of."<\/p>\n
I looked down at my keys.<\/p>\n
"The apartment."<\/p>\n
"Yes."<\/p>\n
She smiled sadly.<\/p>\n
"I wanted Danny to have his own room. I wanted you to come home from work without worrying about whether the rent would go up."<\/p>\n
I pressed my lips together.<\/p>\n
"I don't know what to say."<\/p>\n
"You don't have to say anything."<\/p>\n
I sat quietly.<\/p>\n
Then I asked the question that had been bothering me.<\/p>\n
"Why did you give Dad the keys?"<\/p>\n
Margaret's smile disappeared.<\/p>\n
"Because I was leaving for Europe, and the purchase was being finalized around the time I traveled."<\/p>\n
She paused.<\/p>\n
"I arranged for Richard to receive the keys and the information you needed."<\/p>\n
"And you thought he'd give everything to me?"<\/p>\n
"Yes."<\/p>\n
I looked out at the dark road.<\/p>\n
"He didn't."<\/p>\n
"No."<\/p>\n
"Did you know Emma wanted the apartment?"<\/p>\n
Margaret shook her head.<\/p>\n
"I didn't even know Emma had seen it."<\/p>\n
I closed my eyes.<\/p>\n
That made it worse.<\/p>\n
This hadn't been some family arrangement that had gone wrong.<\/p>\n
Margaret had given my father a clear responsibility.<\/p>\n
He had changed the outcome.<\/p>\n
And then somebody had written letters pretending to be me.<\/p>\n
I opened my eyes.<\/p>\n
"Those letters."<\/p>\n
Margaret nodded.<\/p>\n
"I received two."<\/p>\n
I turned toward her.<\/p>\n
"Two?"<\/p>\n
"Yes."<\/p>\n
"What did they say?"<\/p>\n
She hesitated.<\/p>\n
"The first thanked me for the apartment and said you were overwhelmed by the gift."<\/p>\n
I stared at her.<\/p>\n
"The second said you were settling in and Danny was excited."<\/p>\n
My chest tightened.<\/p>\n
Danny was sitting behind me.<\/p>\n
Quiet.<\/p>\n
Listening.<\/p>\n
Someone had used his name.<\/p>\n
Someone had written about my son being happy in a home he'd never entered.<\/p>\n
I pressed my hand against my mouth.<\/p>\n
Margaret's voice softened.<\/p>\n
"I'm sorry."<\/p>\n
I shook my head.<\/p>\n
"You didn't write them."<\/p>\n
"No."<\/p>\n
"You believed them."<\/p>\n
"Of course I did. I thought they came from you."<\/p>\n
I looked down at my purse.<\/p>\n
The birthday note was still at home.<\/p>\n
I remembered how carefully Margaret had written it.<\/p>\n
She had expected me to understand after receiving the apartment.<\/p>\n
Instead, I'd opened a package containing a keychain.<\/p>\n
Nothing else.<\/p>\n
And I'd been grateful.<\/p>\n
Margaret turned into a quiet residential area.<\/p>\n
The houses became newer.<\/p>\n
The roads were lined with trees.<\/p>\n
Christmas lights shone through apartment windows.<\/p>\n
I recognized the neighborhood.<\/p>\n
It wasn't far from the hospital.<\/p>\n
I had driven past it many times.<\/p>\n
Sometimes I had looked at the buildings and wondered what it would feel like to live somewhere like that.<\/p>\n
I had never seriously considered buying there.<\/p>\n
The prices were far beyond what I could afford.<\/p>\n
Margaret slowed beside a modern apartment building.<\/p>\n
There were balconies.<\/p>\n
Large windows.<\/p>\n
A clean entrance with warm lights.<\/p>\n
She pulled into the parking area.<\/p>\n
Then she turned off the engine.<\/p>\n
"We're here."<\/p>\n
I stared at the building.<\/p>\n
"Here?"<\/p>\n
She nodded.<\/p>\n
I looked up.<\/p>\n
The building had several floors.<\/p>\n
I could see Christmas decorations in some windows.<\/p>\n
One balcony had a small tree covered in white lights.<\/p>\n
It looked peaceful.<\/p>\n
Expensive.<\/p>\n
Like a place where people didn't worry about rent.<\/p>\n
Danny leaned forward.<\/p>\n
"Is this it?"<\/p>\n
Margaret smiled at him.<\/p>\n
"Yes, sweetheart."<\/p>\n
He looked through the window.<\/p>\n
"Wow."<\/p>\n
One word.<\/p>\n
That was all.<\/p>\n
But I felt it in my chest.<\/p>\n
We got out of the car.<\/p>\n
I helped Danny with his coat.<\/p>\n
Margaret took the apartment keys from her purse.<\/p>\n
I watched her hold them.<\/p>\n
They had been sitting in Linda's purse less than an hour earlier.<\/p>\n
Now they were finally in the hands of the person who had bought the property.<\/p>\n
We walked toward the entrance.<\/p>\n
I noticed how clean everything was.<\/p>\n
The glass doors.<\/p>\n
The polished floor.<\/p>\n
The quiet lobby.<\/p>\n
There was a small Christmas tree near the reception area.<\/p>\n
Danny stopped to look at it.<\/p>\n
I waited beside him.<\/p>\n
Margaret spoke to the person at the front desk.<\/p>\n
I couldn't hear everything she said.<\/p>\n
I was too distracted.<\/p>\n
My mind kept returning to the same thought.<\/p>\n
Emma had been coming home to this building for two months.<\/p>\n
She had walked through these doors.<\/p>\n
Used the elevator.<\/p>\n
Opened the apartment.<\/p>\n
Maybe she'd invited people over.<\/p>\n
Maybe she'd shown them around.<\/p>\n
All while Danny and I were still living behind a curtain and a stack of secondhand furniture.<\/p>\n
Margaret returned.<\/p>\n
"Come on."<\/p>\n
We entered the elevator.<\/p>\n
Danny stood between us.<\/p>\n
He watched the numbers change.<\/p>\n
I held his hand.<\/p>\n
The elevator stopped on an upper floor.<\/p>\n
We stepped into a quiet hallway.<\/p>\n
The carpet was soft beneath my shoes.<\/p>\n
I could hear music playing faintly behind one of the doors.<\/p>\n
Margaret walked ahead.<\/p>\n
Then she stopped.<\/p>\n
She looked at the number beside an apartment door.<\/p>\n
I looked at it too.<\/p>\n
I had never seen it before.<\/p>\n
Yet I was supposed to have known that this was mine for two months.<\/p>\n
Margaret placed the key into the lock.<\/p>\n
It turned.<\/p>\n
She opened the door.<\/p>\n
And I stepped inside.<\/p>\n
The first thing I noticed was the smell.<\/p>\n
Expensive perfume.<\/p>\n
Not mine.<\/p>\n
Not Margaret's.<\/p>\n
Emma's.<\/p>\n
I recognized it immediately.<\/p>\n
She wore the same fragrance every time she came to family dinner.<\/p>\n
I stood in the doorway.<\/p>\n
There were shoes beside the entrance.<\/p>\n
A handbag on a table.<\/p>\n
A jacket hanging near the door.<\/p>\n
None of them belonged to me.<\/p>\n
Danny peered around my leg.<\/p>\n
"Mom?"<\/p>\n
I couldn't move.<\/p>\n
Margaret looked inside.<\/p>\n
Her expression hardened.<\/p>\n
The apartment was beautiful.<\/p>\n
And somebody else had already made herself at home.<\/p>\n
I thought leaving the dining room would make me feel better. It didn't. My legs were shaking by the time I reached the front hallway. Danny held my hand. His … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":41530,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-41535","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-insightdrama"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41535","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=41535"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41535\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":41545,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41535\/revisions\/41545"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/41530"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=41535"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=41535"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=41535"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}