The next morning, I found Jordan at the kitchen table with his phone beside his coffee.<\/p>\n
He looked up when I walked in.<\/p>\n
\u201cMorning, Gary.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMorning.\u201d<\/p>\n
I poured myself a cup and sat across from him.<\/p>\n
For a few minutes, neither of us said much.<\/p>\n
Then I remembered the conversation we had left unfinished.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou said you would think about putting your financial proposal in writing.\u201d<\/p>\n
Jordan rubbed his thumb along the side of his coffee mug.<\/p>\n
\u201cI said I would think about it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s right.\u201d<\/p>\n
He seemed to be waiting for me to soften the question.<\/p>\n
I didn't.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf there's something specific you want me to consider, I need to understand what it is.\u201d<\/p>\n
He glanced toward the hallway.<\/p>\n
\u201cMom and I have talked about it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe just think it would be smart to get things organized.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI agree with that.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked surprised.<\/p>\n
I continued before he could mistake my answer for permission to do whatever he wanted.<\/p>\n
\u201cOrganizing important documents is one thing. Giving somebody access to my accounts is another.\u201d<\/p>\n
Jordan leaned back.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou always assume the worst.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI asked you to explain the difference.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI'm trying to help.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen help me understand.\u201d<\/p>\n
He picked up his phone, checked the screen, and put it down again.<\/p>\n
I watched him do it.<\/p>\n
When I was younger, I had negotiated with contractors who wanted payment before finishing a job.<\/p>\n
Some were honest people who needed reassurance.<\/p>\n
Others hoped I would stop asking questions.<\/p>\n
I had learned not to confuse irritation with an answer.<\/p>\n
Jordan finally spoke.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat happens if something happens to you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat's a fair question.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou could end up in the hospital. You could be unable to pay bills. Somebody would have to handle things.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat is why people make plans.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cExactly.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut a plan should say who can do what, under what circumstances, and for how long.\u201d<\/p>\n
He gave a short laugh.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou make everything sound like a business contract.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI spent most of my life running a business.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat doesn't mean everything has to be so complicated.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo,\u201d I said. \u201cIt means I know what happens when people agree to things they haven't read.\u201d<\/p>\n
He stopped smiling.<\/p>\n
I wasn't trying to embarrass him.<\/p>\n
I wanted him to recognize that I would not sign a document simply because he called it sensible.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf you're worried about emergencies,\u201d I said, \u201cwe can make a list of my doctors, insurance information, and the people who should be contacted. We can discuss where those records should be kept.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat doesn't solve everything.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat else needs solving?\u201d<\/p>\n
He hesitated.<\/p>\n
\u201cAccess to the money.\u201d<\/p>\n
There it was again.<\/p>\n
Not the medical information.<\/p>\n
Not the paperwork.<\/p>\n
The money.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat access?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cJust enough to take care of things.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhich things?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBills. Expenses. Whatever needs to be handled.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWould I still control my accounts?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWould you be able to transfer money?\u201d<\/p>\n
He didn't answer immediately.<\/p>\n
That pause told me more than his earlier explanations had.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don't know how it would be set up,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
\u201cThen neither of us should agree to it yet.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked at me as if I had deliberately misunderstood him.<\/p>\n
I kept my voice even.<\/p>\n
\u201cI'm not refusing to plan for the future, Jordan. I'm refusing to give somebody authority over my finances before I understand the arrangement.\u201d<\/p>\n
He pushed his chair back slightly.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou act like I'm trying to take something from you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI haven't said that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut that's what you think.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI think you have asked for financial access without explaining why you need it. I think you accused me of gambling without showing me evidence. And I think those two things deserve a serious conversation.\u201d<\/p>\n
His face tightened.<\/p>\n
For a moment, I expected him to stand up and leave.<\/p>\n
Instead, he stared into his coffee.<\/p>\n
\u201cI shouldn't have said you were gambling,\u201d he muttered.<\/p>\n
I waited.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI said I shouldn't have said it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat isn't quite the same as telling me why you said it.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked away.<\/p>\n
\u201cI heard things.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFrom whom?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don't remember exactly.\u201d<\/p>\n
I let the silence sit between us.<\/p>\n
He knew that wasn't a convincing answer.<\/p>\n
I knew it too.<\/p>\n
But I also knew that pressing him until he gave me a convenient explanation wouldn't make the explanation true.<\/p>\n
\u201cThink about it,\u201d I said. \u201cIf you have something specific to tell me, tell me. If you don't, then we need to stop treating a rumor like a fact.\u201d<\/p>\n
Jordan picked up his phone again.<\/p>\n
\u201cI'll write something up,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
\u201cTake your time.\u201d<\/p>\n
He stood and carried his mug to the sink.<\/p>\n
Before leaving the kitchen, he turned back.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou really don't trust me, do you?\u201d<\/p>\n
I thought carefully before answering.<\/p>\n
\u201cTrust isn't something I can give you because you ask for it. It comes from what we do with each other.\u201d<\/p>\n
He said nothing.<\/p>\n
I heard his footsteps move down the hall.<\/p>\n
For the rest of the morning, I went about my business.<\/p>\n
I paid a household bill.<\/p>\n
I reviewed a letter from my financial adviser.<\/p>\n
I checked the dates on a few documents that needed filing.<\/p>\n
Nothing about my routine changed.<\/p>\n
But I had noticed something important.<\/p>\n
Whenever I asked Jordan to explain the purpose of his proposal, he returned to the same vague promises about helping me.<\/p>\n
Whenever I asked what authority he wanted, he became offended.<\/p>\n
I didn't know what that meant yet.<\/p>\n
I only knew I needed to keep asking clear questions.<\/p>\n
The next morning, I found Jordan at the kitchen table with his phone beside his coffee. He looked up when I walked in. \u201cMorning, Gary.\u201d \u201cMorning.\u201d I poured myself a … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":41024,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-41037","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-insightdrama"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41037","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=41037"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41037\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":41057,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41037\/revisions\/41057"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/41024"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=41037"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=41037"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=41037"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}