Colin called me the following evening, just as I was finishing dinner.<\/p>\n
I had made soup from the vegetables left in the refrigerator and toasted a slice of bread.<\/p>\n
It was a simple meal, the kind Diane used to make when neither of us wanted to spend much time in the kitchen.<\/p>\n
I was carrying my bowl to the sink when the phone rang.<\/p>\n
"Hi, Dad."<\/p>\n
"Hello, son."<\/p>\n
"We talked to Vanessa's family."<\/p>\n
I put the bowl down.<\/p>\n
"How did it go?"<\/p>\n
He let out a long breath.<\/p>\n
"Not great at first."<\/p>\n
I leaned against the counter.<\/p>\n
"What happened?"<\/p>\n
"Her mother was upset. She said everyone had already been looking forward to Christmas at your house."<\/p>\n
"I understand that."<\/p>\n
"She asked why we couldn't just make it work."<\/p>\n
I waited for him to continue.<\/p>\n
"Vanessa told her that thirty-one people wouldn't fit comfortably here, and that we hadn't really thought through the cost."<\/p>\n
That was more than I had expected Vanessa to say.<\/p>\n
"How did her mother take that?"<\/p>\n
"She didn't like it."<\/p>\n
"That's her right."<\/p>\n
"I know."<\/p>\n
There was something different in Colin's voice.<\/p>\n
He sounded disappointed, but he did not sound as though he expected me to rescue him from the disappointment.<\/p>\n
"What did you decide?" I asked.<\/p>\n
"We're going to look at the community room tomorrow. Her parents offered to help with the cost if we can get it."<\/p>\n
"That sounds reasonable."<\/p>\n
"If we can't get it, we'll have a smaller gathering here."<\/p>\n
"That sounds reasonable too."<\/p>\n
He laughed quietly.<\/p>\n
"You make it sound easy."<\/p>\n
"Making a decision can be simple. Making everybody happy about it is something else."<\/p>\n
"That's what I'm learning."<\/p>\n
I returned to the kitchen table.<\/p>\n
The wooden star was still sitting beside the box of ornaments.<\/p>\n
I had been meaning to put it away, but I liked seeing it there.<\/p>\n
"How is Vanessa doing?" I asked.<\/p>\n
"She's embarrassed. I think she feels like she promised something she couldn't deliver."<\/p>\n
"That happens."<\/p>\n
"She's worried her relatives will think she can't organize anything."<\/p>\n
I considered that.<\/p>\n
Vanessa liked to have things arranged.<\/p>\n
She liked to know what time people would arrive, what would be served, and where everyone would sit.<\/p>\n
There was nothing wrong with that.<\/p>\n
The problem was that she had treated my home and my money as parts of her plan before asking whether I agreed.<\/p>\n
"She can still organize something," I said. "It just needs to be something everyone has agreed to."<\/p>\n
"I told her that."<\/p>\n
"Good."<\/p>\n
Colin was quiet for a moment.<\/p>\n
"She also asked me whether I thought you'd been unhappy with us for years."<\/p>\n
I looked toward the window.<\/p>\n
The backyard was dark now, and the bare maple branches were barely visible against the sky.<\/p>\n
"What did you tell her?"<\/p>\n
"I told her I didn't think you were unhappy with us. I thought you'd been trying to help us and hadn't said when it became too much."<\/p>\n
I sat back.<\/p>\n
"That's a fair answer."<\/p>\n
"I also told her I should have been paying more attention."<\/p>\n
I felt a small weight lift from my chest.<\/p>\n
Not because Colin had taken my side.<\/p>\n
Because he was beginning to see that there was more than one person responsible for the way things had developed.<\/p>\n
"Your mother used to tell me that silence doesn't always mean agreement," I said.<\/p>\n
"I remember."<\/p>\n
"Do you?"<\/p>\n
He chuckled.<\/p>\n
"Not when I was a teenager."<\/p>\n
"Neither did I."<\/p>\n
We both laughed.<\/p>\n
Then he grew serious again.<\/p>\n
"Dad, I want to ask you something."<\/p>\n
"Go ahead."<\/p>\n
"If we end up having the smaller gathering here, will you still be comfortable with that?"<\/p>\n
"Yes."<\/p>\n
"Even if we can't invite everybody?"<\/p>\n
"Yes, Colin."<\/p>\n
"I don't want you to feel that we're making you choose between us and your own family."<\/p>\n
I looked at Margaret's name on the notepad.<\/p>\n
"You don't need to make that choice for me. I can invite my sister, and you can invite the people who matter to you. We just need to be realistic about the space and the cost."<\/p>\n
He seemed to take that in.<\/p>\n
"All right."<\/p>\n
"And if we decide to meet somewhere else, I won't be offended."<\/p>\n
"Really?"<\/p>\n
"Really."<\/p>\n
He paused.<\/p>\n
"I think I needed to hear that."<\/p>\n
I did not ask him to explain.<\/p>\n
Sometimes people needed room to arrive at a thought without having it examined from every side.<\/p>\n
We talked briefly about the children.<\/p>\n
The older one wanted to know whether the tree would be decorated before Christmas Eve.<\/p>\n
The younger one had apparently been asking about the wooden star.<\/p>\n
"I told them Grandpa was getting everything ready," Colin said.<\/p>\n
I glanced at the star.<\/p>\n
"Tell them Grandpa is waiting for the right helpers."<\/p>\n
"They'll like that."<\/p>\n
After we hung up, I rinsed my bowl and wiped the counter.<\/p>\n
Then I sat in the living room with the lamp beside Diane's old chair turned on.<\/p>\n
For years, I had treated family disappointment as a problem I needed to solve.<\/p>\n
If Colin was worried, I offered money.<\/p>\n
If Vanessa was stressed, I offered to take the children.<\/p>\n
If a holiday plan became complicated, I paid for whatever would make it easier.<\/p>\n
I had told myself those things were acts of love.<\/p>\n
Many of them had been.<\/p>\n
But I had also been trying to prevent the discomfort that came when people had to face the limits of their own decisions.<\/p>\n
That was not something I could keep doing.<\/p>\n
The next morning, Colin sent me a photograph of the community room.<\/p>\n
It was a plain room with a polished floor, a small kitchen, and a row of folding tables.<\/p>\n
There were windows along one wall.<\/p>\n
The chairs were not particularly attractive.<\/p>\n
But there was enough room for the number of people Vanessa had invited.<\/p>\n
His message read:<\/p>\n
We can reserve this for Christmas afternoon. Her parents are going to help with the rental. We would handle the food together.*<\/p>\n
I studied the photograph.<\/p>\n
It was not the Christmas gathering I had imagined.<\/p>\n
It was also not my responsibility to make every part of it perfect.<\/p>\n
I replied:<\/p>\n
Looks like it could work. I'm glad you found an option.*<\/p>\n
He sent back a thumbs-up.<\/p>\n
I put the phone down and went outside to collect the mail.<\/p>\n
The air was cold enough to make my fingers ache.<\/p>\n
There were two bills, a grocery advertisement, and a card from a neighbor.<\/p>\n
Nothing important.<\/p>\n
When I came back inside, I placed the mail beside the telephone.<\/p>\n
Then I called Margaret.<\/p>\n
"Have you made your Christmas plans?" I asked.<\/p>\n
"Not yet. Why?"<\/p>\n
"Would you like to come to my house for Christmas dinner?"<\/p>\n
She was quiet for a moment.<\/p>\n
"I thought you might be having that big gathering."<\/p>\n
"We're still working out the details, but it looks as if the large group will meet somewhere else."<\/p>\n
"And you want me there?"<\/p>\n
"I do."<\/p>\n
"Then I'll come."<\/p>\n
Her answer was so simple that I felt ashamed of how long I had left the invitation unsaid.<\/p>\n
"We'll keep it easy," I told her. "Nothing elaborate."<\/p>\n
"Good. I don't need elaborate."<\/p>\n
"Neither do I."<\/p>\n
We talked about what she might bring.<\/p>\n
She offered to make the green beans Diane used to prepare every Christmas.<\/p>\n
I accepted.<\/p>\n
When I hung up, I wrote her name beneath the guest list on my notepad.<\/p>\n
Then I crossed out the number thirty-one.<\/p>\n
I did not know yet how many people would sit at my table.<\/p>\n
But I knew that I no longer wanted to measure the success of Christmas by how many people I could accommodate.<\/p>\n
I wanted to measure it by whether I could sit down with the people I loved and enjoy being there.<\/p>\n
That seemed like a much better place to begin.<\/p>\n
*END PART 13**<\/p>\n
Colin called me the following evening, just as I was finishing dinner. I had made soup from the vegetables left in the refrigerator and toasted a slice of bread. It … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":39615,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-39628","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-insightdrama"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39628","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=39628"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39628\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":39648,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39628\/revisions\/39648"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/39615"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=39628"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=39628"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=39628"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}