After the ceremony, everyone moved toward the reception area.<\/p>\n
Tables had been arranged around the room, with small cards marking the seats.<\/p>\n
There were flowers in the center of each table and folded napkins beside the plates.<\/p>\n
Noah walked next to Ethan for a while.<\/p>\n
I followed at a distance.<\/p>\n
I wasn't sure whether I should stay or leave.<\/p>\n
Noah had asked to spend time with his father, and I didn't want my presence to make that difficult.<\/p>\n
But I also knew how quickly he could become overwhelmed when he felt out of place.<\/p>\n
I decided to wait until he told me what he wanted.<\/p>\n
Ethan stopped beside one of the tables and spoke to a woman who appeared to be helping organize the seating.<\/p>\n
Then he pointed toward a place near the middle of the room.<\/p>\n
"Noah, this is where you'll sit."<\/p>\n
Noah looked at the table.<\/p>\n
"With you?"<\/p>\n
Ethan hesitated.<\/p>\n
Then he pulled out a chair beside his own.<\/p>\n
"Right here."<\/p>\n
Noah's face brightened.<\/p>\n
"Okay."<\/p>\n
I felt myself relax.<\/p>\n
Ethan turned toward me.<\/p>\n
"There are seats over there if you'd like to stay."<\/p>\n
I looked at the table.<\/p>\n
There was an empty chair a short distance away.<\/p>\n
"Thank you."<\/p>\n
I sat down.<\/p>\n
The room became busier as guests found their places.<\/p>\n
People introduced themselves, passed drinks, and asked where everyone had come from.<\/p>\n
Noah answered a few questions.<\/p>\n
Then he began watching the other children at the reception.<\/p>\n
A boy about his age was talking to someone near the far end of the room.<\/p>\n
Noah looked as though he might want to join them, but he stayed beside his father.<\/p>\n
Ethan noticed.<\/p>\n
"You can go say hello if you want."<\/p>\n
Noah shook his head.<\/p>\n
"I'm fine."<\/p>\n
Ethan didn't insist.<\/p>\n
Instead, he asked Noah about school.<\/p>\n
I couldn't hear the whole conversation, but I saw my son begin to relax.<\/p>\n
He spoke with his hands, explaining something that had happened in class.<\/p>\n
Ethan listened.<\/p>\n
He laughed at one point.<\/p>\n
Noah laughed, too.<\/p>\n
I looked down at my place setting.<\/p>\n
The sight made me happy.<\/p>\n
It also made me sad.<\/p>\n
I remembered all the times I had asked Ethan to put his phone away during dinner, to listen when Noah wanted to tell him something, to notice when a conversation mattered more than whatever else he was doing.<\/p>\n
Some days, he had listened.<\/p>\n
Other days, he hadn't.<\/p>\n
I had done the same thing in different ways.<\/p>\n
There were moments when I had been too tired to listen carefully.<\/p>\n
Moments when I had answered a question while thinking about work.<\/p>\n
Moments when I had mistaken providing for parenting.<\/p>\n
I didn't want to turn the past into a contest over which of us had failed more often.<\/p>\n
We had both made mistakes.<\/p>\n
The question now was whether we could do better for Noah.<\/p>\n
The reception began with a few short speeches.<\/p>\n
People thanked the guests for attending.<\/p>\n
Someone told a story about Ethan that made the room laugh.<\/p>\n
Ethan smiled, looking slightly embarrassed.<\/p>\n
Then another speaker talked about Lila.<\/p>\n
I watched Noah while the adults spoke.<\/p>\n
He listened politely.<\/p>\n
He glanced at his father from time to time, checking his expression.<\/p>\n
I wondered whether he was trying to decide how he should feel.<\/p>\n
When the speeches ended, the guests applauded.<\/p>\n
Music began playing.<\/p>\n
Several people stood up to dance.<\/p>\n
Noah remained at the table.<\/p>\n
Ethan turned toward him.<\/p>\n
"Would you like to dance?"<\/p>\n
Noah looked horrified.<\/p>\n
"Not here."<\/p>\n
Ethan laughed.<\/p>\n
"Fair enough."<\/p>\n
Noah smiled.<\/p>\n
The ease between them was new enough that I noticed every small change.<\/p>\n
I was grateful for it.<\/p>\n
But I also knew that one good afternoon couldn't repair months of uncertainty.<\/p>\n
Ethan would need to keep showing up after the wedding.<\/p>\n
He would need to call when he said he would.<\/p>\n
He would need to remember that Noah's life didn't pause when he was busy with his own.<\/p>\n
I couldn't do those things for him.<\/p>\n
I could only make it clear that our son deserved them.<\/p>\n
After a while, Noah left the table to get some water.<\/p>\n
I followed him toward the refreshment area.<\/p>\n
He filled a glass and took a careful sip.<\/p>\n
Then he looked at me.<\/p>\n
"Mom?"<\/p>\n
"Yes?"<\/p>\n
"Are you sad?"<\/p>\n
I leaned against the counter.<\/p>\n
"A little."<\/p>\n
He looked down at the glass.<\/p>\n
"Because Dad got married?"<\/p>\n
"Partly."<\/p>\n
He was quiet for a moment.<\/p>\n
"Do you wish you were marrying him again?"<\/p>\n
The question hurt because I knew he had been carrying it for a long time.<\/p>\n
"No," I said gently. "I don't wish that."<\/p>\n
He looked surprised.<\/p>\n
"You don't?"<\/p>\n
"Noah, I loved your dad. But our marriage wasn't working anymore. I don't want us to go back to something that wasn't good for either of us."<\/p>\n
He absorbed that.<\/p>\n
"Then why are you sad?"<\/p>\n
I considered how to explain it.<\/p>\n
"Because something important ended. Even when you know it needed to end, you can still feel sad about losing it."<\/p>\n
Noah looked toward the reception room.<\/p>\n
"Like when you finish a book?"<\/p>\n
I smiled.<\/p>\n
"Sometimes. Except you don't always get to choose the ending."<\/p>\n
He thought about that.<\/p>\n
"Do you like Lila?"<\/p>\n
I paused.<\/p>\n
"I don't know her very well."<\/p>\n
"But do you hate her?"<\/p>\n
"No."<\/p>\n
He looked relieved.<\/p>\n
"Good."<\/p>\n
I touched his shoulder.<\/p>\n
"You don't have to worry about whether I hate her. You can get to know her for yourself."<\/p>\n
Noah nodded.<\/p>\n
Then he asked the question that stayed with me long after we returned to the table.<\/p>\n
"Can I be happy for Dad and still miss how things were?"<\/p>\n
I felt my eyes sting.<\/p>\n
"Yes, sweetheart. You can."<\/p>\n
He looked at me carefully.<\/p>\n
"Even if you don't feel happy?"<\/p>\n
"Even then."<\/p>\n
He put the glass down.<\/p>\n
I pulled him into a hug.<\/p>\n
He held on longer than I expected.<\/p>\n
For a moment, I felt the weight of everything he had been trying to understand.<\/p>\n
His father was getting married.<\/p>\n
His mother was learning how to live without the marriage she had once expected to last.<\/p>\n
The family he knew was changing.<\/p>\n
And he was trying to find a way to love everyone without making anyone feel rejected.<\/p>\n
I held him until he loosened his arms.<\/p>\n
Then I stepped back.<\/p>\n
"You don't have to make today perfect," I told him.<\/p>\n
He nodded.<\/p>\n
"I know."<\/p>\n
"Just be yourself."<\/p>\n
He smiled a little.<\/p>\n
"That's easier."<\/p>\n
We returned to the table.<\/p>\n
Ethan looked up as we approached.<\/p>\n
"Everything okay?"<\/p>\n
Noah nodded.<\/p>\n
"Yes."<\/p>\n
Ethan glanced at me.<\/p>\n
I gave him a small nod, too.<\/p>\n
There were things Noah had asked me that I couldn't share without betraying his trust.<\/p>\n
Ethan didn't press.<\/p>\n
He pulled Noah's chair out slightly and asked whether he wanted something to eat.<\/p>\n
Noah said yes.<\/p>\n
The moment passed.<\/p>\n
I sat down and watched my son begin his meal.<\/p>\n
He was still uncertain.<\/p>\n
So was I.<\/p>\n
But he no longer looked as though he had to choose between being a good son and being honest about his feelings.<\/p>\n
For that afternoon, it was enough.<\/p>\n
After the ceremony, everyone moved toward the reception area. Tables had been arranged around the room, with small cards marking the seats. There were flowers in the center of each … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":38205,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-38216","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-insightdrama"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38216","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=38216"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38216\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":38236,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38216\/revisions\/38236"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/38205"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=38216"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=38216"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=38216"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}