By midmorning, Maddie was awake.<\/p>\n
She came into the kitchen rubbing her eyes, carrying a small blanket behind her.<\/p>\n
Bentley stood up immediately.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you want breakfast?\u201d<\/p>\n
Maddie nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cPancakes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cArlene made pancakes,\u201d he told her.<\/p>\n
She climbed into the chair and waited while I warmed the plate.<\/p>\n
Bentley stayed beside her.<\/p>\n
He watched as I cut the pancakes into small squares and put the plate in front of her.<\/p>\n
\u201cNot too much syrup,\u201d he reminded me.<\/p>\n
\u201cI remember.\u201d<\/p>\n
Maddie picked up a piece with her fingers.<\/p>\n
She ate it, then reached for another.<\/p>\n
Bentley relaxed a little when he saw her eating.<\/p>\n
I sat across from them with my tea.<\/p>\n
For a few minutes, the kitchen felt almost ordinary.<\/p>\n
Maddie talked about a dream she had forgotten halfway through explaining it.<\/p>\n
She asked whether we had any crackers.<\/p>\n
I told her we did.<\/p>\n
Bentley glanced toward the cupboard.<\/p>\n
\u201cI can get them.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI'll get them,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
He stopped.<\/p>\n
I took a small packet from the cupboard and placed it on the table.<\/p>\n
Maddie accepted it happily.<\/p>\n
Bentley watched her open it.<\/p>\n
Then he looked at me.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don't have to do everything,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
He gave a small nod.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
But I could see that knowing and believing were still two different things.<\/p>\n
After breakfast, Maddie wanted to sit near the window.<\/p>\n
I brought her blanket and helped her onto the couch.<\/p>\n
Bentley followed with the crackers.<\/p>\n
He placed them beside her, then returned to the kitchen.<\/p>\n
He seemed restless without a task.<\/p>\n
I was wiping the table when he spoke.<\/p>\n
\u201cCan I ask you something?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCan we go back to our house for a little while?\u201d<\/p>\n
I stopped wiping.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat would you like to do there?\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked toward the front door.<\/p>\n
\u201cI want to check the blue jar.\u201d<\/p>\n
I remembered the jar sitting in Amber's kitchen.<\/p>\n
I remembered the money inside it, set aside for food and whatever else the children might need while she was away.<\/p>\n
I also remembered how carefully Bentley had explained that his mother had told him about it.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you worried the money is gone?\u201d<\/p>\n
He shook his head.<\/p>\n
\u201cI just want to see it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAll right.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked surprised that I hadn't said no.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe can go together,\u201d I told him. \u201cWe'll make sure Maddie is comfortable, and we won't stay longer than you want.\u201d<\/p>\n
He glanced toward the couch.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe can come.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIf you think she'll be comfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n
He nodded.<\/p>\n
I finished wiping the table and put the cloth beside the sink.<\/p>\n
Then I helped Maddie get her shoes on.<\/p>\n
She complained that one shoe felt funny.<\/p>\n
Bentley knelt down and checked the strap.<\/p>\n
He adjusted it without being asked.<\/p>\n
I let him finish, then handed him his own shoes.<\/p>\n
He put them on and tied the laces.<\/p>\n
I gathered the keys and checked that the telephone was with me.<\/p>\n
Before we left, I looked at the kitchen.<\/p>\n
The plates were washed.<\/p>\n
The pancakes were covered.<\/p>\n
The blue dish towel hung over the oven handle.<\/p>\n
I had been trying to keep the house orderly because it was one thing I could control.<\/p>\n
But the children did not need everything to be perfect.<\/p>\n
They needed adults to stop pretending that they were supposed to manage the impossible alone.<\/p>\n
I opened the front door.<\/p>\n
Bentley stepped outside first, then waited for Maddie.<\/p>\n
She took his hand.<\/p>\n
He held it carefully, as if she might disappear if he loosened his grip.<\/p>\n
We walked the short distance to their house.<\/p>\n
The morning air was cool.<\/p>\n
Bentley said very little.<\/p>\n
Maddie asked whether we were going to see her toys.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes,\u201d he told her.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd my cup?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd my bed?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, Maddie.\u201d<\/p>\n
She seemed satisfied.<\/p>\n
When we reached the house, Bentley stopped on the path.<\/p>\n
He looked at the front door.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat's wrong?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cNothing.\u201d<\/p>\n
He took a breath.<\/p>\n
Then he walked forward and let himself in.<\/p>\n
The house was still.<\/p>\n
The air smelled faintly of old food and the ordinary things that had been left behind.<\/p>\n
Bentley moved toward the kitchen.<\/p>\n
I followed at a comfortable distance.<\/p>\n
Maddie stayed beside me, looking around with the uncertain expression of a child who recognized everything but couldn't understand why it felt different.<\/p>\n
The blue jar was where Bentley had left it.<\/p>\n
He stood in front of it without touching it.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere it is,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked at the lid.<\/p>\n
\u201cMom said there was money in it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI remember.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe said it was for food.\u201d<\/p>\n
He glanced toward the refrigerator.<\/p>\n
I knew he was thinking about the nearly empty shelves.<\/p>\n
He was thinking about the crackers and the rice, about the food he had divided between himself and his sister, and about the days he had tried to make things last.<\/p>\n
I stepped closer.<\/p>\n
\u201cBentley, you did what you could with what you had.\u201d<\/p>\n
He shook his head.<\/p>\n
\u201cI should've used the money.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou were trying to follow your mother's instructions.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut we needed food.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes. You did.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked at the jar again.<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought if I didn't touch it, there'd be enough when she came home.\u201d<\/p>\n
I didn't answer immediately.<\/p>\n
There was no way to know what he had imagined during those days.<\/p>\n
Maybe he had thought that if he followed every instruction exactly, he could keep the whole family safe until Amber returned.<\/p>\n
Maybe the jar had become more than money.<\/p>\n
It had become proof that his mother had planned for them.<\/p>\n
As long as it remained where she left it, he could tell himself that the plan was still working.<\/p>\n
\u201cYour mother put that money there because she wanted you to have what you needed,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
He kept his eyes on the jar.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUsing it for food wouldn't have meant you failed her.\u201d<\/p>\n
He rubbed one thumb against the side of his hand.<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn't know that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know you didn't.\u201d<\/p>\n
Maddie tugged gently at his sleeve.<\/p>\n
\u201cCan I see?\u201d<\/p>\n
Bentley moved aside.<\/p>\n
She peered at the jar, then looked up at him.<\/p>\n
\u201cIs that Mom's?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt's the money Mom left.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIs she coming back for it?\u201d<\/p>\n
Bentley froze.<\/p>\n
I saw the question land on him.<\/p>\n
He looked at me, and for a moment I thought he might ask me to answer for him.<\/p>\n
Instead, he crouched beside his sister.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe don't know when she's coming home,\u201d he said carefully.<\/p>\n
Maddie frowned.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut she said she would.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
She looked at the jar once more.<\/p>\n
Then she lost interest and wandered toward the living room, where her toys were scattered on the floor.<\/p>\n
Bentley stayed beside the counter.<\/p>\n
\u201cCan I keep the jar near me?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n
I looked at him.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you mean take it back to my house?\u201d<\/p>\n
He nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don't want anything to happen to it.\u201d<\/p>\n
I understood.<\/p>\n
He wanted to keep the one thing his mother had deliberately left for them close by.<\/p>\n
He wanted something he could see and touch, something that had not gone silent or disappeared.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe can bring it with us if that makes you feel better,\u201d I said. \u201cWe won't spend the money without talking about what the children need.\u201d<\/p>\n
He watched me carefully.<\/p>\n
\u201cReally?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cReally.\u201d<\/p>\n
I picked up the jar and held it out.<\/p>\n
He took it with both hands.<\/p>\n
It wasn't heavy, but he carried it as if it were something fragile.<\/p>\n
Maddie came back into the kitchen holding a toy.<\/p>\n
\u201cCan we go now?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes,\u201d Bentley told her.<\/p>\n
He tucked the jar against his chest.<\/p>\n
I locked the front door behind us.<\/p>\n
On the walk back, he kept his eyes on the jar.<\/p>\n
He didn't talk about the money again.<\/p>\n
But when we reached my house, he placed it on the kitchen table, beside the telephone.<\/p>\n
He adjusted it once, then stepped back.<\/p>\n
The jar and the telephone stood side by side.<\/p>\n
One held the promise his mother had made before she left.<\/p>\n
The other was the place where he still hoped to hear her voice.<\/p>\n
I didn't move either of them.<\/p>\n
I went to the cupboard and took out the crackers Maddie had asked for.<\/p>\n
Then I set three glasses of water on the table.<\/p>\n
Bentley sat down at last.<\/p>\n
He rested his hands in his lap and looked at the blue jar.<\/p>\n
I sat across from him.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe'll keep trying to find out what happened,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
He nodded.<\/p>\n
This time, he didn't ask me to promise that his mother would come home.<\/p>\n
He only asked whether the telephone would stay on the table.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes,\u201d I told him. \u201cIt will stay right here.\u201d<\/p>\n
And for the moment, that was enough for him to take a breath and reach for a cracker.<\/p>\n
PART 12 END<\/p>\n
By midmorning, Maddie was awake. She came into the kitchen rubbing her eyes, carrying a small blanket behind her. Bentley stood up immediately. \u201cDo you want breakfast?\u201d Maddie nodded. \u201cPancakes.\u201d … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":36383,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-36395","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-insightdrama"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36395","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=36395"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36395\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":36415,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36395\/revisions\/36415"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/36383"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=36395"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=36395"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=36395"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}