Maddie was still asleep when we reached the bedroom.<\/p>\n
She had pushed one foot out from beneath the blanket and curled her fingers around the corner of the pillow.<\/p>\n
Bentley stopped beside the doorway.<\/p>\n
He watched her for a few seconds before stepping inside.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe always kicks the blanket off,\u201d he whispered.<\/p>\n
\u201cThen we'll put it back when she needs it.\u201d<\/p>\n
He walked over and pulled the blanket up to her shoulder.<\/p>\n
He did it gently, with the careful movements of someone who had practiced making as little noise as possible.<\/p>\n
I stood near the door and let him finish.<\/p>\n
When he turned around, he looked embarrassed to have been watched.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou didn't have to do that,\u201d I told him.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe gets cold.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
He touched the edge of the blanket once more, then backed away.<\/p>\n
I had put fresh bedding on the other bed earlier.<\/p>\n
The room was simple, with a lamp on the small table and a drawer that stuck if you pulled it too quickly.<\/p>\n
There was nothing special about it.<\/p>\n
But it was clean, warm, and close enough to the kitchen that I could hear the telephone if it rang.<\/p>\n
Bentley looked at the bed.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo I have to sleep now?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don't have to fall asleep this minute.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCan I just lie down?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course.\u201d<\/p>\n
He sat on the edge and removed his socks.<\/p>\n
He folded them together and placed them beside his shoes.<\/p>\n
I remembered doing the same thing as a child because my mother used to tell me not to leave clothes scattered around.<\/p>\n
The memory came and went before I could hold on to it.<\/p>\n
Bentley climbed beneath the blanket without taking off his shirt.<\/p>\n
I didn't ask him why.<\/p>\n
I pulled the chair near the bed so I could sit while he settled.<\/p>\n
For a while, neither of us spoke.<\/p>\n
The house made its ordinary nighttime sounds.<\/p>\n
The refrigerator hummed.<\/p>\n
A pipe clicked somewhere behind the wall.<\/p>\n
Outside, a car passed and faded into the distance.<\/p>\n
Bentley turned onto his side.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you think Mom knows where we are?\u201d<\/p>\n
I considered the question.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe knows you have neighbors who care about you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut does she know we're here?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don't know whether she's been told.\u201d<\/p>\n
He turned back toward me.<\/p>\n
\u201cCould she be looking for us?\u201d<\/p>\n
The question caught me off guard.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat makes you think that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMaybe she called the house and nobody answered.\u201d<\/p>\n
I thought of the telephone in the kitchen.<\/p>\n
I thought of all the times I had heard it ring in my own house and let it go to voicemail because I was cooking or carrying groceries.<\/p>\n
I had never imagined a child listening for a call that might explain why his mother had disappeared.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe may have tried to reach you,\u201d I said. \u201cI can't know that yet.\u201d<\/p>\n
Bentley pulled the blanket higher.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf she calls the house, will she know we're here?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI'll tell her.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat if she thinks I did something wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n
I leaned forward.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy would she think that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause I wasn't at home.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou were trying to take care of Maddie.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut she told me to stay at the house.\u201d<\/p>\n
His words came quickly, as if he had been saving them.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe said to stay there until she came back. She said there was money in the blue jar and food in the freezer.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI remember you telling me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI tried.\u201d<\/p>\n
His voice broke on the last word.<\/p>\n
He turned his face toward the wall.<\/p>\n
I let the silence stay between us for a moment.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou did try, Bentley.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn't know what else to do.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou were a child in a frightening situation. You weren't supposed to know how to fix it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut Maddie needed food.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes. She did.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd she needed me.\u201d<\/p>\n
I felt my throat tighten.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe needed someone to help her. That doesn't mean you were supposed to do everything by yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n
He didn't answer.<\/p>\n
I could tell he was trying to decide whether I understood the difference.<\/p>\n
To him, the difference might have seemed meaningless.<\/p>\n
If Maddie needed food, he had to find food.<\/p>\n
If she cried, he had to comfort her.<\/p>\n
If she asked where their mother was, he had to find words that wouldn't frighten her.<\/p>\n
He had taken every need as an instruction.<\/p>\n
I wanted him to understand that caring about his sister did not make him responsible for the things adults had failed to provide.<\/p>\n
I wasn't sure how to explain that to someone who had spent nine days learning the opposite.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you know what I want you to do tomorrow?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n
He looked at me cautiously.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cEat breakfast.\u201d<\/p>\n
He blinked.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat's it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat's one thing.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat else?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGet some rest tonight. Let me help with Maddie. And tell me when you need something.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked at the blanket.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat if I don't know I need something?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen we'll work it out together.\u201d<\/p>\n
He was quiet for a while.<\/p>\n
Then he asked, \u201cAre you mad at me?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause I didn't tell you?\u201d<\/p>\n
I shook my head.<\/p>\n
\u201cI'm not mad at you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI should've said something sooner.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou were trying to protect your sister.\u201d<\/p>\n
He swallowed.<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought if I told someone, they'd take her away.\u201d<\/p>\n
I moved my chair a little closer.<\/p>\n
\u201cI understand that you were scared of that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMom said it could happen.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe said when she was little, she didn't know where she was going to live next.\u201d<\/p>\n
His voice became very small.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe said she never wanted us to feel like that.\u201d<\/p>\n
I remembered what he had told me earlier about Amber growing up in three homes in four years.<\/p>\n
I had pictured a frightened young mother making a promise to her children.<\/p>\n
Now I pictured a ten-year-old boy carrying that promise as if it were a rule he could never break.<\/p>\n
\u201cYour mother wanted you and Maddie to feel safe,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
He nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was trying.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know you were.\u201d<\/p>\n
He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands.<\/p>\n
\u201cI'm tired.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen you should sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n
He settled onto the pillow.<\/p>\n
I reached for the lamp, but he spoke before I could switch it off.<\/p>\n
\u201cCan you leave it on?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course.\u201d<\/p>\n
I left the small lamp glowing.<\/p>\n
Then I stood and walked to the doorway.<\/p>\n
\u201cI'm just in the next room,\u201d I told him. \u201cThe telephone is with me.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked toward the hallway.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n
I stayed there for another moment.<\/p>\n
He was watching me, but he wasn't asking me to stay.<\/p>\n
I knew that look.<\/p>\n
It was the look of someone who wanted reassurance but didn't want to become another person's burden.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don't have to be brave for me,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
His eyes filled, though he didn't cry.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don't know how not to be.\u201d<\/p>\n
I had no clever answer.<\/p>\n
So I gave him the only honest one I had.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou can learn.\u201d<\/p>\n
He turned his face into the pillow.<\/p>\n
I waited until his breathing began to slow.<\/p>\n
Then I stepped into the hallway and left the door open a little.<\/p>\n
In the kitchen, the telephone sat beside the blue dish towel I had carried in from the table.<\/p>\n
I placed it on the counter and looked at it.<\/p>\n
I had hoped that one more call would bring a clear answer.<\/p>\n
It hadn't.<\/p>\n
But the children were warm, they had eaten, and Bentley had finally admitted that he was tired.<\/p>\n
For that night, I would have to let those things count.<\/p>\n
PART 10 END<\/p>\n
Maddie was still asleep when we reached the bedroom. She had pushed one foot out from beneath the blanket and curled her fingers around the corner of the pillow. Bentley … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":36383,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-36393","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-insightdrama"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36393","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=36393"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36393\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":36413,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36393\/revisions\/36413"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/36383"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=36393"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=36393"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=36393"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}