I walked away from the living room before answering.<\/p>\n
Behind me, my friends had resumed talking, though more quietly now. I crossed the kitchen and entered the small study beside the staircase, closing the door until only a narrow line of Christmas light remained beneath it.<\/p>\n
"What do you mean, whose house?"<\/p>\n
Mom hesitated.<\/p>\n
"The house on the program."<\/p>\n
I looked through the study's glass doors toward the living room.<\/p>\n
"My house."<\/p>\n
Silence.<\/p>\n
Not ordinary silence.<\/p>\n
The kind in which someone realizes the facts in front of them no longer fit the story they've been telling themselves.<\/p>\n
"Miranda," Mom said carefully, "that's your house?"<\/p>\n
"Yes."<\/p>\n
"The whole thing?"<\/p>\n
I almost laughed.<\/p>\n
"No, Mom. I rent the fireplace on weekends."<\/p>\n
"Please don't."<\/p>\n
"Then don't ask me whether my house is my house."<\/p>\n
I heard Dad speaking in the background.<\/p>\n
His words were muffled.<\/p>\n
Mom answered him, covering the phone badly enough that I heard her say, "She says it is."<\/p>\n
Something tightened beneath my ribs.<\/p>\n
She says it is.<\/p>\n
As though verification might still be required.<\/p>\n
Dad came onto the call.<\/p>\n
"Miranda?"<\/p>\n
"Hi, Dad."<\/p>\n
"That place on television belongs to you?"<\/p>\n
I leaned against the desk.<\/p>\n
"Yes."<\/p>\n
"When did you buy it?"<\/p>\n
"Two years ago."<\/p>\n
"Two years?"<\/p>\n
"Yes."<\/p>\n
"And you built all that?"<\/p>\n
"Most of the renovation and expansion, yes."<\/p>\n
Another silence.<\/p>\n
I could picture him doing the mental arithmetic.<\/p>\n
Two years.<\/p>\n
Several invitations.<\/p>\n
Numerous phone calls.<\/p>\n
A Christmas invitation sent six weeks earlier.<\/p>\n
"You never told us it was like that," he said.<\/p>\n
The words landed strangely.<\/p>\n
"I told you I bought a mountain property."<\/p>\n
"I thought you meant a cabin."<\/p>\n
"I sent photographs."<\/p>\n
Dad didn't answer.<\/p>\n
I remembered sending them.<\/p>\n
Exterior shots during construction. The foundation. The beams arriving. The finished kitchen. The greenhouse frame.<\/p>\n
Mom had replied to one with a heart.<\/p>\n
Dad had written, Looks like a lot of work.<\/p>\n
Neither had asked another question.<\/p>\n
"I invited you here," I said.<\/p>\n
Mom took the phone back.<\/p>\n
"We know."<\/p>\n
"Then why are you surprised?"<\/p>\n
"We didn't realize."<\/p>\n
"Realize what?"<\/p>\n
She struggled.<\/p>\n
I waited.<\/p>\n
"How successful things had become."<\/p>\n
There it was.<\/p>\n
Not cruelty.<\/p>\n
Something almost worse.<\/p>\n
Ignorance.<\/p>\n
My parents had no idea what my life looked like.<\/p>\n
For years, I had interpreted their absence as disapproval. Apparently they hadn't known enough to disapprove.<\/p>\n
"How did you think I lived?"<\/p>\n
"I don't know."<\/p>\n
"Exactly."<\/p>\n
"Miranda, don't make this into\u2014"<\/p>\n
"Into what?"<\/p>\n
She stopped.<\/p>\n
I could feel an old reflex waking inside me. The reflex to soften my tone before Mom became uncomfortable. The reflex to rescue the conversation.<\/p>\n
I ignored it.<\/p>\n
"What do you think Holt Ridge does?"<\/p>\n
"Property development."<\/p>\n
"What kind?"<\/p>\n
"Renovations."<\/p>\n
"We haven't primarily done residential renovations in four years."<\/p>\n
Mom became quiet.<\/p>\n
I stared at the bookshelf opposite me.<\/p>\n
The company had completed mixed-use properties, commercial restorations, vacation developments, and several environmentally sensitive mountain projects. We employed fourteen people directly and worked with dozens of contractors.<\/p>\n
My parents apparently still pictured me sanding cabinets in inexpensive houses.<\/p>\n
"Brooke said business was difficult," Mom finally said.<\/p>\n
My attention sharpened.<\/p>\n
"When?"<\/p>\n
"I don't remember."<\/p>\n
"What exactly did she say?"<\/p>\n
"That you were having a hard time."<\/p>\n
I stood away from the desk.<\/p>\n
"Why was Brooke updating you about my company?"<\/p>\n
"She wasn't updating us. It came up."<\/p>\n
"When?"<\/p>\n
"Miranda, I don't keep records of family conversations."<\/p>\n
I almost replied that perhaps she should start.<\/p>\n
Instead I asked, "Did you ever ask me?"<\/p>\n
"Ask you what?"<\/p>\n
"Whether I was struggling."<\/p>\n
She didn't answer.<\/p>\n
That answer was enough.<\/p>\n
I opened the study door.<\/p>\n
Megan stood in the hallway, pretending she hadn't been waiting.<\/p>\n
I pointed toward the kitchen.<\/p>\n
She followed.<\/p>\n
Mom was still talking.<\/p>\n
"We didn't want to pry."<\/p>\n
"You'll drive across town on Christmas because Brooke needs groceries, but asking me how work is going would be prying?"<\/p>\n
"That's unfair."<\/p>\n
"Is it?"<\/p>\n
"Your sister has been having a difficult year."<\/p>\n
I closed my eyes.<\/p>\n
There it was again.<\/p>\n
Brooke's difficult year.<\/p>\n
There had been many of them.<\/p>\n
She was thirty-three.<\/p>\n
I was thirty-six.<\/p>\n
Yet somehow our parents still treated us as if I were the older child expected to carry her own suitcase while Brooke needed both hands held crossing a parking lot.<\/p>\n
"What's difficult?" I asked.<\/p>\n
"Her rent increased."<\/p>\n
"So did everyone's."<\/p>\n
"She's had problems at work."<\/p>\n
"What problems?"<\/p>\n
"Her hours were reduced."<\/p>\n
"When?"<\/p>\n
Mom paused.<\/p>\n
"I don't know."<\/p>\n
"Has she been fired?"<\/p>\n
"No."<\/p>\n
"Is she sick?"<\/p>\n
"No."<\/p>\n
"Was she actually without food today?"<\/p>\n
"Miranda."<\/p>\n
"I'm asking."<\/p>\n
"She said she needed help."<\/p>\n
That wasn't an answer.<\/p>\n
I looked at Megan.<\/p>\n
Her expression had changed.<\/p>\n
She had heard enough to recognize the same thing I did.<\/p>\n
Mom didn't know.<\/p>\n
My parents had abandoned Christmas at my house to solve an emergency they hadn't examined.<\/p>\n
"How much did you spend on groceries?" I asked.<\/p>\n
"Why does that matter?"<\/p>\n
"Because I'm curious."<\/p>\n
"About three hundred dollars."<\/p>\n
"Three hundred dollars isn't a Christmas emergency."<\/p>\n
"It wasn't only groceries."<\/p>\n
I became still.<\/p>\n
"What else?"<\/p>\n
Another pause.<\/p>\n
"She needed some help with bills."<\/p>\n
"How much?"<\/p>\n
"I don't think that's your business."<\/p>\n
I nearly laughed.<\/p>\n
My family's boundaries had always been fascinating. Brooke's interpretation of my finances could apparently travel freely through the family, but asking what emergency had canceled my Christmas invitation was intrusive.<\/p>\n
"Fine."<\/p>\n
Mom exhaled.<\/p>\n
"Miranda, we weren't choosing her over you."<\/p>\n
The sentence hurt precisely because neither of us had used the word choosing.<\/p>\n
"I didn't say you were."<\/p>\n
"You were thinking it."<\/p>\n
"I was thinking you made your decision."<\/p>\n
"We thought you'd understand."<\/p>\n
Of course.<\/p>\n
That had been my assigned role for most of my life.<\/p>\n
Miranda understands.<\/p>\n
Miranda can manage.<\/p>\n
Miranda doesn't need much.<\/p>\n
What adults called independence in one child could become neglect when everyone found it convenient enough.<\/p>\n
"I did understand," I said.<\/p>\n
"What?"<\/p>\n
"I understood the decision."<\/p>\n
"That's not what I meant."<\/p>\n
"I know."<\/p>\n
Dad spoke somewhere behind her.<\/p>\n
Mom answered him.<\/p>\n
Then I heard Brooke's voice.<\/p>\n
She was there.<\/p>\n
That shouldn't have surprised me.<\/p>\n
Still, hearing her laughter through the phone changed the temperature of the conversation.<\/p>\n
"Is Brooke beside you?"<\/p>\n
"She's in the kitchen."<\/p>\n
"Put her on."<\/p>\n
Mom hesitated.<\/p>\n
"Why?"<\/p>\n
"I'd like to wish my sister Merry Christmas."<\/p>\n
"I don't think this is a good time."<\/p>\n
"Why not?"<\/p>\n
"Because you're upset."<\/p>\n
I stared at the phone.<\/p>\n
"I'm not going to attack her."<\/p>\n
"I didn't say you would."<\/p>\n
"You implied it."<\/p>\n
Mom lowered her voice.<\/p>\n
"Can we talk tomorrow?"<\/p>\n
I almost agreed.<\/p>\n
Then Brooke said something in the background.<\/p>\n
I couldn't hear the whole sentence.<\/p>\n
Only the end.<\/p>\n
"…making everything about the house."<\/p>\n
I straightened.<\/p>\n
"Put Brooke on."<\/p>\n
"Miranda\u2014"<\/p>\n
"Please."<\/p>\n
A few seconds passed.<\/p>\n
Then my sister's voice came through.<\/p>\n
"Hey."<\/p>\n
She sounded bored.<\/p>\n
Not guilty.<\/p>\n
Not embarrassed.<\/p>\n
Bored.<\/p>\n
"Merry Christmas."<\/p>\n
"You too."<\/p>\n
"Did you watch the program?"<\/p>\n
"Some of it."<\/p>\n
"Did you know they were featuring my house?"<\/p>\n
A fraction too much silence.<\/p>\n
"No."<\/p>\n
I had negotiated enough contracts to recognize hesitation.<\/p>\n
"You sure?"<\/p>\n
"Why would I know?"<\/p>\n
"Because it was advertised online."<\/p>\n
"I don't follow architecture shows."<\/p>\n
"Neither do I."<\/p>\n
She sighed.<\/p>\n
"What exactly do you want, Miranda?"<\/p>\n
I almost said nothing.<\/p>\n
Then I noticed how naturally she had moved into defense before I'd accused her of anything.<\/p>\n
"I wanted to ask how you're doing."<\/p>\n
"I'm fine."<\/p>\n
"Mom said you needed groceries."<\/p>\n
"Yeah."<\/p>\n
"Everything okay?"<\/p>\n
"Money's tight."<\/p>\n
"I'm sorry."<\/p>\n
Another pause.<\/p>\n
My sincerity seemed to confuse her.<\/p>\n
Then she said, "Thanks."<\/p>\n
"You know you could've come here."<\/p>\n
"What?"<\/p>\n
"For Christmas."<\/p>\n
"I wasn't invited."<\/p>\n
The sentence struck harder than expected.<\/p>\n
"Yes, you were."<\/p>\n
"No, I wasn't."<\/p>\n
"I told Mom the invitation was for all three of you."<\/p>\n
"Nobody told me."<\/p>\n
I looked toward Megan.<\/p>\n
She couldn't hear Brooke's side, but she saw my expression.<\/p>\n
"Mom said she invited you."<\/p>\n
"Well, she didn't."<\/p>\n
The certainty in Brooke's voice disturbed me.<\/p>\n
"Did you tell Mom and Dad I was struggling financially?"<\/p>\n
"What?"<\/p>\n
"With Holt Ridge."<\/p>\n
"No."<\/p>\n
"Mom says you did."<\/p>\n
"Mom misunderstands things."<\/p>\n
"She specifically mentioned you."<\/p>\n
Brooke gave a short laugh.<\/p>\n
"I might have said you were busy."<\/p>\n
"Busy isn't struggling."<\/p>\n
"I don't remember every conversation."<\/p>\n
The resemblance to Mom's earlier answer was almost comical.<\/p>\n
"Did you know I owned this house?"<\/p>\n
"I knew you had a place in the mountains."<\/p>\n
"That's not what I asked."<\/p>\n
"Why are you interrogating me?"<\/p>\n
"I'm asking a simple question."<\/p>\n
"I saw pictures."<\/p>\n
"When?"<\/p>\n
"I don't know."<\/p>\n
"Before tonight?"<\/p>\n
She became quiet.<\/p>\n
My stomach tightened.<\/p>\n
"Brooke?"<\/p>\n
"What difference does it make?"<\/p>\n
A great deal, apparently.<\/p>\n
Before I could continue, she spoke again.<\/p>\n
"Look, I'm happy for you, okay? You have your big company and your big house and your television thing. Congratulations."<\/p>\n
The bitterness was unmistakable.<\/p>\n
I had heard irritation from Brooke before.<\/p>\n
Jealousy was different.<\/p>\n
"You sound angry."<\/p>\n
"I'm not."<\/p>\n
"You do."<\/p>\n
"I'm tired of everybody acting like you're some incredible success story."<\/p>\n
I said nothing.<\/p>\n
She seemed to realize she'd gone too far.<\/p>\n
"I didn't mean it that way."<\/p>\n
"How did you mean it?"<\/p>\n
"Forget it."<\/p>\n
She handed the phone back to Mom before I could respond.<\/p>\n
My mother sounded flustered.<\/p>\n
"Miranda, we'll talk tomorrow."<\/p>\n
"Okay."<\/p>\n
"Are you angry with us?"<\/p>\n
The question was almost childlike.<\/p>\n
I considered lying.<\/p>\n
Then I looked through the windows.<\/p>\n
Snow fell beyond the terrace. In the living room, people I cared about were clearing dishes from a table they hadn't been asked to clear.<\/p>\n
"I'm disappointed."<\/p>\n
Mom inhaled.<\/p>\n
"I'm sorry."<\/p>\n
I believed she meant it.<\/p>\n
That didn't make it sufficient.<\/p>\n
"Good night, Mom."<\/p>\n
"Good night."<\/p>\n
I ended the call.<\/p>\n
Megan immediately asked, "What happened?"<\/p>\n
"Brooke says she wasn't invited."<\/p>\n
"What?"<\/p>\n
"Mom says she was."<\/p>\n
"Someone's lying."<\/p>\n
"Or somebody misunderstood."<\/p>\n
Megan folded her arms.<\/p>\n
"You don't believe that."<\/p>\n
No.<\/p>\n
I didn't.<\/p>\n
The following morning, I woke late.<\/p>\n
My phone contained thirty-seven messages.<\/p>\n
Most were congratulations about the television special. Several were from people I hadn't spoken to in years.<\/p>\n
One was from Linda, my parents' neighbor.<\/p>\n
Call me when you're awake.<\/p>\n
I made coffee before calling.<\/p>\n
Linda answered immediately.<\/p>\n
"Miranda?"<\/p>\n
"Morning."<\/p>\n
"Oh, honey."<\/p>\n
That opening was never promising.<\/p>\n
"What happened?"<\/p>\n
"Your mother called me."<\/p>\n
"Why?"<\/p>\n
"Because I mentioned your house."<\/p>\n
I set down my mug.<\/p>\n
"When?"<\/p>\n
"This morning. She called to ask what I meant when I said the place looked beautiful on television."<\/p>\n
My fingers tightened around the counter.<\/p>\n
"She didn't know?"<\/p>\n
"No."<\/p>\n
"She watched the program."<\/p>\n
"Apparently she didn't realize it was yours until I told her."<\/p>\n
That made no sense.<\/p>\n
"I told her last night."<\/p>\n
Linda went quiet.<\/p>\n
"Miranda."<\/p>\n
"What?"<\/p>\n
"She thought you were joking."<\/p>\n
I stopped moving.<\/p>\n
Linda continued carefully.<\/p>\n
"She thought you were saying it was your project."<\/p>\n
"It is my project."<\/p>\n
"No. I mean she thought your company had worked on it. She didn't understand that you owned it."<\/p>\n
I stared toward the living room.<\/p>\n
The tree lights were still on.<\/p>\n
"What did she say when you explained?"<\/p>\n
"Nothing for a while."<\/p>\n
"And then?"<\/p>\n
"She started crying."<\/p>\n
I sat down.<\/p>\n
The satisfaction I might once have expected never arrived.<\/p>\n
Instead, I felt tired.<\/p>\n
Linda lowered her voice.<\/p>\n
"She kept saying she thought you were barely getting the company established."<\/p>\n
"Why?"<\/p>\n
"I asked her the same thing."<\/p>\n
My heart began beating faster.<\/p>\n
"What did she say?"<\/p>\n
Linda hesitated.<\/p>\n
"She said Brooke told them."<\/p>\n
I looked toward the silent house.<\/p>\n
The answer from the night before returned to me.<\/p>\n
I saw pictures.<\/p>\n
Before tonight?<\/p>\n
What difference does it make?<\/p>\n
I ended the call with Linda a few minutes later.<\/p>\n
Megan came downstairs while I was still sitting at the island.<\/p>\n
She took one look at me.<\/p>\n
"What now?"<\/p>\n
I picked up my phone.<\/p>\n
"Now I stop asking everyone except the person who seems to know exactly what's been happening."<\/p>\n
"Brooke?"<\/p>\n
I found my sister's number.<\/p>\n
"Brooke."<\/p>\n
My thumb moved toward the call button.<\/p>\n
Then a message appeared before I could press it.<\/p>\n
From Mom.<\/p>\n
Miranda, please don't call your sister yet. There are things your father and I need to tell you first.<\/p>\n
I walked away from the living room before answering. Behind me, my friends had resumed talking, though more quietly now. I crossed the kitchen and entered the small study beside … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":27222,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-27224","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-insightdrama"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27224","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=27224"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27224\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":27264,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27224\/revisions\/27264"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/27222"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=27224"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=27224"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=27224"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}