The prosecutor\u2019s meeting was set for Tuesday.<\/p>\n
Daniel spent the weekend working.<\/p>\n
He asked for an extra shift.<\/p>\n
Not because he thought money would solve the criminal case.<\/p>\n
He said he needed to stay busy.<\/p>\n
On Sunday afternoon, he asked me for a ride.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLuis\u2019s place.\u201d<\/p>\n
I put down the newspaper.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
Daniel frowned.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou have a lawyer.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not talking about the case.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen what are you talking about?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI want to apologize.\u201d<\/p>\n
Teresa looked up from the table.<\/p>\n
\u201cDid your lawyer tell you to do that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDid you ask?\u201d<\/p>\n
Daniel hesitated.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen ask first.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked irritated.<\/p>\n
\u201cAn apology shouldn\u2019t need legal permission.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMaybe not morally.\u201d<\/p>\n
I folded the paper.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut when there is an investigation involving the same person, you don\u2019t improvise.\u201d<\/p>\n
Daniel stared at me.<\/p>\n
Then picked up his phone.<\/p>\n
His attorney answered after several rings.<\/p>\n
Daniel explained.<\/p>\n
The answer was simple.<\/p>\n
Do not contact Luis directly.<\/p>\n
Daniel hung up.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou were right.\u201d<\/p>\n
I smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat must hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n
He almost laughed.<\/p>\n
\u201cMore than the court thing.\u201d<\/p>\n
He sat.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat am I supposed to do then?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cRespect the fact that Luis may not want anything from you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat feels like doing nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSometimes respecting somebody is doing nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked at Teresa.<\/p>\n
She nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou spent a long time deciding what other people needed from you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Daniel absorbed that.<\/p>\n
The next day, he wrote a letter.<\/p>\n
Not to send.<\/p>\n
His therapist had suggested it.<\/p>\n
He spent over an hour on it.<\/p>\n
Then tore it up.<\/p>\n
Wrote another.<\/p>\n
Kept that one.<\/p>\n
I did not read it.<\/p>\n
Teresa did not ask.<\/p>\n
Privacy had begun to return to our family in healthier ways.<\/p>\n
Not secrecy.<\/p>\n
Privacy.<\/p>\n
There was a difference.<\/p>\n
Tuesday morning, Daniel wore the only button-down shirt he still owned.<\/p>\n
The collar was slightly frayed.<\/p>\n
His old expensive clothes were mostly gone.<\/p>\n
Sold.<\/p>\n
He looked younger dressed formally.<\/p>\n
That made it worse.<\/p>\n
His lawyer met us outside the prosecutor\u2019s office.<\/p>\n
Teresa and I were not allowed into the substantive meeting.<\/p>\n
We waited.<\/p>\n
Again.<\/p>\n
Waiting had become its own education.<\/p>\n
I used to believe parenting meant intervention.<\/p>\n
Fixing.<\/p>\n
Correcting.<\/p>\n
Moving.<\/p>\n
Now some of the most important things I did for Daniel involved staying in a chair while he walked into rooms alone.<\/p>\n
An hour later, he came out.<\/p>\n
His face was unreadable.<\/p>\n
His lawyer asked whether we wanted to sit somewhere private.<\/p>\n
We found a bench outside the building.<\/p>\n
The attorney explained.<\/p>\n
Daniel would likely be charged.<\/p>\n
But prosecutors were considering his cooperation, age, lack of prior record, employment, treatment, restitution efforts, and the evidence against Mau.<\/p>\n
There might be a negotiated resolution.<\/p>\n
Nothing was guaranteed.<\/p>\n
Possible probation.<\/p>\n
Restitution.<\/p>\n
Treatment requirements.<\/p>\n
Maybe custody time.<\/p>\n
Maybe not.<\/p>\n
Daniel stared at his shoes.<\/p>\n
Teresa asked, \u201cWhen will we know?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot today.\u201d<\/p>\n
She hated that.<\/p>\n
So did I.<\/p>\n
Daniel said nothing until we reached the car.<\/p>\n
Then he leaned against the door and began shaking.<\/p>\n
I had never seen him afraid like that.<\/p>\n
Not performed fear.<\/p>\n
Not strategic fear.<\/p>\n
Body-deep fear.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t want to go to jail.\u201d<\/p>\n
Teresa turned toward him.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t think I can do it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou may not have to.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut I might.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked at me.<\/p>\n
\u201cSay something.\u201d<\/p>\n
I searched for words that were true.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019ll deal with what comes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s all anybody can do.\u201d<\/p>\n
He laughed bitterly.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou used to have answers for everything.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI was wrong about that too.\u201d<\/p>\n
He stared out the windshield.<\/p>\n
\u201cI wish you\u2019d yell.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause this calm thing is worse.\u201d<\/p>\n
Teresa almost smiled.<\/p>\n
He looked at her.<\/p>\n
\u201cSeriously.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou want him to yell so you can be angry instead of scared.\u201d<\/p>\n
Daniel turned.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat sounds like my therapist.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe\u2019s learning,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
Teresa elbowed me.<\/p>\n
For one second, we were a family laughing in a parked car.<\/p>\n
Then Daniel started crying.<\/p>\n
Teresa held him.<\/p>\n
This time she did.<\/p>\n
There was no manipulation attached.<\/p>\n
No request.<\/p>\n
No condition.<\/p>\n
He cried because he was scared.<\/p>\n
She held him because she loved him.<\/p>\n
That was all.<\/p>\n
Over the next weeks, Daniel\u2019s life became painfully structured.<\/p>\n
Work.<\/p>\n
Therapy.<\/p>\n
Attorney meetings.<\/p>\n
Gambling support meetings.<\/p>\n
Repayment.<\/p>\n
Sleep.<\/p>\n
Repeat.<\/p>\n
His therapist recommended a peer group for gambling addiction.<\/p>\n
He hated the first meeting.<\/p>\n
Everybody did, he said.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThey talk like gambling ruined everything.\u201d<\/p>\n
I stared at him.<\/p>\n
He rolled his eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
By the third meeting, he stopped complaining.<\/p>\n
He met a man named Victor there.<\/p>\n
Victor was almost fifty.<\/p>\n
He had lost a business, a marriage, and years of contact with his daughter.<\/p>\n
Daniel came home from one meeting quieter than usual.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat happened?\u201d Teresa asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cVictor showed me a picture.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf what?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHis daughter\u2019s wedding.\u201d<\/p>\n
Teresa waited.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe wasn\u2019t there.\u201d<\/p>\n
Daniel sat.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe didn\u2019t invite him.\u201d<\/p>\n
Nobody spoke.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe said for years he kept thinking one big apology would fix it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Daniel rubbed his hands together.<\/p>\n
\u201cThen he realized she didn\u2019t owe him a relationship because he recovered.\u201d<\/p>\n
Teresa\u2019s face softened.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat did you think?\u201d<\/p>\n
Daniel looked at her.<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought about you.\u201d<\/p>\n
She did not look away.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat if you never trust me again?\u201d<\/p>\n
The question was dangerous because Teresa wanted to reassure him.<\/p>\n
I saw it.<\/p>\n
She saw it too.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
Daniel flinched.<\/p>\n
She continued.<\/p>\n
\u201cI hope I will trust you differently.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat does that mean?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t think I should ever trust anybody the way I trusted you before.\u201d<\/p>\n
His face tightened.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat sounds awful.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was.\u201d<\/p>\n
She reached for his hand.<\/p>\n
\u201cLove without limits was not love for either of us.\u201d<\/p>\n
He nodded slowly.<\/p>\n
That night, Daniel asked if he could start coming home for dinner twice a week.<\/p>\n
Not sleep there.<\/p>\n
Dinner.<\/p>\n
Teresa looked at me.<\/p>\n
I shrugged.<\/p>\n
She said yes.<\/p>\n
The first dinner felt formal.<\/p>\n
Daniel arrived at six.<\/p>\n
Knocked.<\/p>\n
Even though he still had a key.<\/p>\n
Teresa opened the door.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou can use your key.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen why did you knock?\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked embarrassed.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know if this is my house anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n
Teresa\u2019s face changed.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s still your family home.\u201d<\/p>\n
He nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut living here is different.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n
He came inside.<\/p>\n
We ate.<\/p>\n
He washed the dishes.<\/p>\n
Then he left.<\/p>\n
No argument.<\/p>\n
The second dinner was easier.<\/p>\n
By the fourth, he stayed to watch part of a game with me.<\/p>\n
He sat in the same place where I had once found him complaining about warm soda.<\/p>\n
I noticed.<\/p>\n
He noticed me noticing.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNothing.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked toward the kitchen.<\/p>\n
Then back at me.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was awful that night.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou really hated that soda.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI hated what it represented.\u201d<\/p>\n
Daniel nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought you were insane.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI probably was.\u201d<\/p>\n
He smiled.<\/p>\n
Then grew serious.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you regret kicking me out?\u201d<\/p>\n
The question had lived between us for weeks.<\/p>\n
I thought carefully.<\/p>\n
\u201cI regret that I waited until I was furious.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked at me.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t regret ending what was happening.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s not exactly an answer.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s the only honest one.\u201d<\/p>\n
Daniel accepted it.<\/p>\n
The next morning, Luis contacted Daniel\u2019s attorney.<\/p>\n
He had learned Daniel wanted to apologize.<\/p>\n
Luis did not want a meeting.<\/p>\n
He did not want a letter.<\/p>\n
He did not want Daniel to call.<\/p>\n
Daniel read the message three times.<\/p>\n
Then handed the phone back.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat do I do?\u201d<\/p>\n
His attorney said, \u201cYou respect it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Daniel nodded.<\/p>\n
In the car afterward, he punched the dashboard once.<\/p>\n
Not hard enough to damage it.<\/p>\n
Hard enough to hurt his hand.<\/p>\n
I grabbed his wrist.<\/p>\n
\u201cStop.\u201d<\/p>\n
He pulled away.<\/p>\n
\u201cI just want to tell him I didn\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat might be exactly what he doesn\u2019t want to hear.\u201d<\/p>\n
Daniel stared at me.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe thinks I did it on purpose.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMaybe.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s not fair.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked shocked.<\/p>\n
I continued.<\/p>\n
\u201cConsequences are not always perfectly fair.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked out the window.<\/p>\n
\u201cI helped put him in that position.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cEven if I didn\u2019t know everything.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
He nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cI hate this.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
Two days later, the formal charges arrived.<\/p>\n
Daniel opened the envelope at our kitchen table.<\/p>\n
His hands shook so badly he had trouble unfolding the papers.<\/p>\n
Teresa sat beside him.<\/p>\n
I stood behind them.<\/p>\n
Identity fraud.<\/p>\n
Unauthorized use of personal information.<\/p>\n
Financial fraud-related charges.<\/p>\n
The language was sterile.<\/p>\n
The effect was not.<\/p>\n
Daniel read every line.<\/p>\n
Then put the papers down.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m being charged.\u201d<\/p>\n
Teresa pressed her lips together.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked at her.<\/p>\n
She took his hand.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\n
He laughed in disbelief.<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
She squeezed his fingers.<\/p>\n
\u201cNot okay.\u201d<\/p>\n
She looked directly at him.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut real.\u201d<\/p>\n
Daniel nodded.<\/p>\n
Real.<\/p>\n
That had become the word our family could no longer avoid.<\/p>\n
The prosecutor\u2019s meeting was set for Tuesday. Daniel spent the weekend working. He asked for an extra shift. Not because he thought money would solve the criminal case. He said … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":14619,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14634","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-insightdrama"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14634","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=14634"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14634\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14659,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14634\/revisions\/14659"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/14619"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=14634"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=14634"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=14634"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}