The waiting room clock moved with deliberate cruelty.<\/p>\n
Eight twenty.<\/p>\n
Eight thirty-seven.<\/p>\n
Nine eleven.<\/p>\n
Every few minutes, someone in scrubs crossed the corridor, and Greg\u2019s head lifted.<\/p>\n
None came toward us.<\/p>\n
Michael had brought coffee.<\/p>\n
Greg forgot to drink his.<\/p>\n
I had brought a book.<\/p>\n
I read the same paragraph four times before giving up.<\/p>\n
At nine twenty-three, Greg stood.<\/p>\n
\u201cBathroom.\u201d<\/p>\n
He returned ninety seconds later.<\/p>\n
At nine forty, he stood again.<\/p>\n
\u201cWater.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThere is water beside you,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
He looked at the untouched bottle.<\/p>\n
\u201cWalk.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat I believe.\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael watched him pace to the end of the corridor.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe always like this?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
I looked at our son.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael nodded toward Greg.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe always looked calm when we were kids.\u201d<\/p>\n
I smiled sadly.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat was for you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael considered that.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen I broke my arm?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe nearly vomited in the emergency-room bathroom.\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael stared.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re joking.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe told me it was nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe was terrified.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen Emma had pneumonia?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDidn\u2019t sleep for three nights.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe acted normal.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat was his job.\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael looked toward his father.<\/p>\n
Something changed in his expression.<\/p>\n
Children know their parents first as structures.<\/p>\n
Walls.<\/p>\n
Roofs.<\/p>\n
Hands that appear when something breaks.<\/p>\n
It takes adulthood to realize the structure was built from frightened human beings improvising behind closed doors.<\/p>\n
Greg returned.<\/p>\n
Michael handed him the coffee.<\/p>\n
\u201cDrink.\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg obeyed.<\/p>\n
After several minutes, Michael said, \u201cDad?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDid you really almost throw up when I broke my arm?\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg looked at me.<\/p>\n
\u201cTraitor.\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael laughed.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo yes?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou were eight.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI remember.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe bone looked wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was broken.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cExactly.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou told me it looked worse than it was.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI lied.\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat one I forgive.\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg drank his coffee.<\/p>\n
Then Michael asked, \u201cWere you scared all the time?\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg frowned.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen you were little?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
The answer surprised both of us.<\/p>\n
Greg stared into the cup.<\/p>\n
\u201cI assumed everybody was.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAbout what?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cEverything.\u201d<\/p>\n
He shrugged.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou choking. Getting hit by a car. Falling out of a tree. Being kidnapped. Leukemia.\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael blinked.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat escalated.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou asked.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDid you actually think I had leukemia?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen why\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cParents are insane.\u201d<\/p>\n
I laughed.<\/p>\n
Greg smiled briefly.<\/p>\n
Then he became serious.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe trick was not letting you know.\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael leaned back.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause you were supposed to believe the world was safe.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt isn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg looked at him.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut you were eight.\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cThen we got older.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd you couldn\u2019t protect us anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg\u2019s mouth tightened.<\/p>\n
\u201cI could protect you from some things.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot everything.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd that bothered you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg looked at me.<\/p>\n
I said nothing.<\/p>\n
This conversation belonged to them.<\/p>\n
\u201cMore than it should have,\u201d he admitted.<\/p>\n
Michael thought for a moment.<\/p>\n
\u201cDid you want me to stay home?\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg\u2019s eyes widened.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen I moved overseas.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou were miserable.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI was proud of you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThose aren\u2019t mutually exclusive.\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg looked almost offended.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat sounds like your mother.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt sounds correct.\u201d<\/p>\n
I smiled.<\/p>\n
Greg rubbed his jaw.<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t want you to stay.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI wanted not to mind that you left.\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael was quiet.<\/p>\n
Greg continued.<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought if I had done fatherhood correctly, your independence would feel like an accomplishment.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDidn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
He exhaled.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd like being fired.\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael laughed once, then stopped when he realized Greg was serious.<\/p>\n
\u201cDad.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know how stupid that sounds.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt doesn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt does.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael leaned forward.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou think I stopped needing a father because I learned how to buy groceries?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s oversimplifying.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know how to change a tire.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBarely.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI knew you\u2019d say that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYour jack placement is reckless.\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere he is.\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg shook his head.<\/p>\n
Michael continued.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t need you to solve my life.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut I still need you in it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg stared at him.<\/p>\n
Michael\u2019s voice became quieter.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen I got promoted last year, you were the first person I wanted to tell.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou called your mother first.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause you didn\u2019t answer.\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg looked at me.<\/p>\n
I shrugged.<\/p>\n
\u201cHistory has been corrected.\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael laughed.<\/p>\n
\u201cDad, when my relationship with Hannah ended, who did I call?\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg frowned.<\/p>\n
\u201cMe.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou were upset.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. Why you?\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg thought.<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
He stopped.<\/p>\n
Michael waited.<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause you knew I\u2019d answer.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cExactly.\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg looked down.<\/p>\n
Michael\u2019s next words were gentle.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t call because I think you can repair everything. I call because you\u2019re my dad.\u201d<\/p>\n
Something in Greg\u2019s face broke.<\/p>\n
Not dramatically.<\/p>\n
His eyes lowered.<\/p>\n
His mouth tightened.<\/p>\n
He rubbed one thumb against the coffee cup.<\/p>\n
\u201cI wish somebody had explained that ten years ago.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI was twenty.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou were useless at twenty.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFair.\u201d<\/p>\n
They laughed.<\/p>\n
The tension loosened.<\/p>\n
Then Greg looked at Michael.<\/p>\n
\u201cDid I make it hard for you to tell me things?\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael hesitated.<\/p>\n
Greg noticed.<\/p>\n
\u201cGreat.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat hesitation was enormous.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt depended.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOn?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhether I wanted advice.\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg winced.<\/p>\n
\u201cI always gave advice.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cEven when you didn\u2019t ask.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought that was helping.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cSometimes it was.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd sometimes?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI called Mom.\u201d<\/p>\n
I raised my coffee.<\/p>\n
\u201cExcellent judgment.\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg gave me a look.<\/p>\n
Then he laughed.<\/p>\n
For another hour, we talked.<\/p>\n
Not about Steve.<\/p>\n
That itself felt significant.<\/p>\n
Greg asked about Michael\u2019s work.<\/p>\n
Then, for once, he did not immediately suggest how Michael might negotiate his next promotion.<\/p>\n
Michael told us about a woman he had recently begun seeing.<\/p>\n
Greg\u2019s eyebrows rose.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou didn\u2019t tell us.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s new.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow new?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDad.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cRight.\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg stopped.<\/p>\n
Michael smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cHer name is Claire.\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cTell us when you want.\u201d<\/p>\n
I watched our son notice the restraint.<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks.\u201d<\/p>\n
At ten fifty-six, the surgical doors opened.<\/p>\n
All three of us stood.<\/p>\n
The cardiologist walked toward us.<\/p>\n
His expression was unreadable.<\/p>\n
Greg\u2019s face drained.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow is he?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe procedure is finished.\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg gripped the chair.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe successfully closed the vessel.\u201d<\/p>\n
For half a second, nobody reacted.<\/p>\n
Then Greg whispered, \u201cSuccessfully?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
I covered my mouth.<\/p>\n
Michael exhaled.<\/p>\n
Greg closed his eyes.<\/p>\n
The cardiologist continued.<\/p>\n
\u201cSteve handled anesthesia well. His heart responded as expected.\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg\u2019s knees seemed to weaken.<\/p>\n
Michael caught his elbow.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s okay?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe is recovering.\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg laughed.<\/p>\n
One small sound.<\/p>\n
Then tears came.<\/p>\n
He made no attempt to hide them.<\/p>\n
\u201cCan I see him?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen he\u2019s awake enough.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\n
The cardiologist nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere is still recovery ahead.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd follow-up imaging.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut today went as well as we could reasonably hope.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hope.<\/p>\n
Again.<\/p>\n
This time Greg accepted the word.<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\n
When the doctor left, Greg sat.<\/p>\n
Michael put an arm around him.<\/p>\n
Greg leaned into his son.<\/p>\n
I had never seen that before.<\/p>\n
Not because they were distant.<\/p>\n
Because Greg had always been the one supporting the weight.<\/p>\n
Now, for a minute, he let Michael carry some.<\/p>\n
We saw Steve two hours later.<\/p>\n
His fur had been shaved in places.<\/p>\n
He looked offended by existence.<\/p>\n
Greg smiled through tears.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou look terrible.\u201d<\/p>\n
Steve gave a faint squeak.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s my guy.\u201d<\/p>\n
A technician explained that he would stay overnight.<\/p>\n
Susan could remain nearby.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe\u2019s been screaming whenever she hears him,\u201d the technician said.<\/p>\n
Greg smiled.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe\u2019s a difficult woman.\u201d<\/p>\n
I nudged him.<\/p>\n
\u201cYour mother.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cExactly.\u201d<\/p>\n
Before leaving, Greg stood beside Steve\u2019s enclosure.<\/p>\n
He did not promise to return every hour.<\/p>\n
He did not ask to sleep in the waiting room.<\/p>\n
He said, \u201cSee you tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n
Then he walked away.<\/p>\n
At the hotel that evening, Michael ordered dinner.<\/p>\n
Greg actually ate.<\/p>\n
Halfway through, his phone rang.<\/p>\n
Denise.<\/p>\n
Greg answered.<\/p>\n
He gave her the update.<\/p>\n
She was delighted.<\/p>\n
Then her tone changed.<\/p>\n
I could hear it even from across the table.<\/p>\n
Greg\u2019s smile faded.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
A pause.<\/p>\n
\u201cI remember.\u201d<\/p>\n
Another pause.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, I understand.\u201d<\/p>\n
He ended the call.<\/p>\n
Michael looked up.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg set the phone down.<\/p>\n
\u201cSusan\u2019s adoption meeting.\u201d<\/p>\n
I had forgotten.<\/p>\n
It was scheduled for the following week.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat about it?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe family wants to meet her sooner.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow soon?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThis weekend.\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg looked toward the hotel window.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey\u2019re willing to wait until we return.\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael asked, \u201cDo you want them to?\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg did not answer.<\/p>\n
I knew why.<\/p>\n
Steve had survived.<\/p>\n
The crisis that had allowed Greg to focus on saving him was receding.<\/p>\n
Now came the harder part.<\/p>\n
Letting go of the one who did not need saving.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe should meet them,\u201d Greg said.<\/p>\n
I studied him.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re sure?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
That was honest.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut we should.\u201d<\/p>\n
Michael nodded.<\/p>\n
Greg picked up his fork again.<\/p>\n
Then his phone buzzed.<\/p>\n
A message from Denise.<\/p>\n
He read it.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat now?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n
His eyebrows rose.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe adopter knows about Steve.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThey asked whether the kittens can be adopted together.\u201d<\/p>\n
The room went silent.<\/p>\n
Greg looked at me.<\/p>\n
Every problem we had used to justify keeping Steve close had just changed.<\/p>\n
A family might want both.<\/p>\n
Even the sick one.<\/p>\n
Even the complicated one.<\/p>\n
Greg stared at the message.<\/p>\n
And I realized the hardest test had never been whether he could save Steve.<\/p>\n
It would be whether, after saving him, Greg could let somebody else love him.<\/p>\n
The waiting room clock moved with deliberate cruelty. Eight twenty. Eight thirty-seven. Nine eleven. Every few minutes, someone in scrubs crossed the corridor, and Greg\u2019s head lifted. None came toward … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":13464,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13478","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-insightdrama"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13478","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13478"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13478\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13502,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13478\/revisions\/13502"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/13464"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13478"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13478"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13478"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}