\u201cA heart murmur?\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg said the words as if repeating them might change their meaning.<\/p>\n
I watched him grip the phone tighter.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat doesn\u2019t necessarily mean something terrible,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
He did not look at me.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat exactly did they say?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat the veterinarian heard it more clearly this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMore clearly than last night?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy didn\u2019t she hear it then?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe was cold. Weak. They were focused on stabilizing him.\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg began pacing.<\/p>\n
Susan slept in the warmed box near the rocking chair, unaware that her brother had abruptly become the center of our entire morning.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat kind of murmur?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThey don\u2019t know yet.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat grade?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDid you ask?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, Greg. You were on the phone.\u201d<\/p>\n
He stopped.<\/p>\n
Right.<\/p>\n
For one second he looked embarrassed.<\/p>\n
Then worry erased it.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey\u2019re transferring him to the specialty clinic across town.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThis afternoon.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m going.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI assumed.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t have to.\u201d<\/p>\n
I stared at him.<\/p>\n
He caught himself.<\/p>\n
\u201cRight. Sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n
He had begun doing that more often: hearing the old habit after it left his mouth.<\/p>\n
Small progress.<\/p>\n
Not enough to quiet him now.<\/p>\n
He picked up the rescue notebook, flipped to Steve\u2019s weight chart, then set it down again.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat could cause a murmur in a kitten?\u201d<\/p>\n
I knew better than to guess.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n
He reached for his phone.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo internet.\u201d<\/p>\n
His head snapped toward me.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause you will turn one sentence into fourteen diseases before breakfast.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can read medical information without panicking.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou once convinced yourself a numb thumb meant a spinal tumor.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt lasted three days.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou had slept on your hand.\u201d<\/p>\n
He frowned.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat doesn\u2019t mean I was wrong to investigate.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt means I\u2019m confiscating your phone if you type \u2018kitten heart murmur prognosis.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg gave me a look.<\/p>\n
Then he slid the phone into his pocket.<\/p>\n
\u201cFine.\u201d<\/p>\n
A moment later he took it back out.<\/p>\n
\u201cGreg.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m checking the time.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou own a watch.\u201d<\/p>\n
He stared at his wrist.<\/p>\n
He was wearing one.<\/p>\n
\u201cI hate you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, you don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
His voice softened.<\/p>\n
\u201cI really don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
That simple answer carried more weight than it would have a week earlier.<\/p>\n
I went to make coffee.<\/p>\n
Behind me, Greg sat beside Susan.<\/p>\n
He did not touch her.<\/p>\n
He simply watched.<\/p>\n
I knew what he was thinking.<\/p>\n
Two kittens had been found together.<\/p>\n
One was thriving.<\/p>\n
One was not.<\/p>\n
Care had been equal.<\/p>\n
Results were not.<\/p>\n
That was a kind of unfairness Greg struggled to tolerate.<\/p>\n
By noon, he had packed everything Steve might conceivably need at the specialty clinic.<\/p>\n
Blanket.<\/p>\n
Feeding chart.<\/p>\n
Formula.<\/p>\n
Extra towel.<\/p>\n
Photographs of the hole where we found them.<\/p>\n
I stopped him there.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy do they need photographs of the flower bed?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIn case exposure is relevant.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGreg.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know what specialists ask.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThey are cardiologists, not crime-scene investigators.\u201d<\/p>\n
He removed the photos.<\/p>\n
Reluctantly.<\/p>\n
Denise met us at the rescue before the transfer.<\/p>\n
She had Steve in a carrier lined with a clean fleece blanket.<\/p>\n
When Greg saw him, his entire face changed.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey.\u201d<\/p>\n
He crouched.<\/p>\n
Steve lifted his head.<\/p>\n
Barely, but enough.<\/p>\n
Greg put one finger through the carrier door.<\/p>\n
The kitten sniffed him.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s my guy.\u201d<\/p>\n
Denise looked at me.<\/p>\n
I saw concern there.<\/p>\n
Not about Steve.<\/p>\n
About Greg.<\/p>\n
She had seen this before.<\/p>\n
Perhaps every rescue had.<\/p>\n
People arrived wanting to help animals and discovered their own wounds waiting in the cages.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow\u2019s he feeding?\u201d Greg asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cBetter.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTemperature?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNormal.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWeight?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTwo thirty-six.\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg did the math instantly.<\/p>\n
\u201cEight grams up.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCorrect.\u201d<\/p>\n
Relief crossed his face.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo the murmur could be nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n
Denise chose her words carefully.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt could be innocent.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt could also be structural.\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg\u2019s jaw tightened.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat does that mean?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe specialist will explain.\u201d<\/p>\n
He stood.<\/p>\n
\u201cI hate when everyone says that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know more than you\u2019re telling me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know possibilities.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTell me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Denise glanced at me.<\/p>\n
I shook my head slightly.<\/p>\n
Not because Greg shouldn\u2019t know.<\/p>\n
Because guessing before the test would give him something else to obsess over.<\/p>\n
\u201cToday,\u201d Denise said, \u201cyour job is to get him there.\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg almost laughed.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy job.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
That word worked on him.<\/p>\n
He took the carrier.<\/p>\n
The specialty clinic was twenty-five minutes away.<\/p>\n
Greg held Steve on his lap while I drove.<\/p>\n
That arrangement had been my decision.<\/p>\n
I did not trust Greg behind the wheel with that much worry in his body.<\/p>\n
He objected for roughly twelve seconds.<\/p>\n
Then Steve moved under the blanket and Greg forgot the argument.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re stronger today,\u201d he whispered.<\/p>\n
I kept my eyes on traffic.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe is.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou think?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re not just saying that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg rubbed one finger over the carrier mesh.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe looks tiny.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe is tiny.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe was louder yesterday.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou were complaining yesterday that he screamed constantly.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI was not complaining.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou called him an air-raid siren with paws.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat was affectionate.\u201d<\/p>\n
At the clinic, a receptionist led us into a consultation room.<\/p>\n
The walls displayed photographs of dogs and cats wearing tiny holiday costumes.<\/p>\n
Greg examined none of them.<\/p>\n
Dr. Singh arrived with Steve\u2019s chart.<\/p>\n
She was perhaps forty, composed, direct, and apparently immune to Greg\u2019s instinct to interrogate.<\/p>\n
She shook our hands.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re Steve\u2019s foster family?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFor now,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
Greg hesitated before agreeing.<\/p>\n
\u201cFor now.\u201d<\/p>\n
Dr. Singh sat.<\/p>\n
\u201cI examined him before coming in.\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg leaned forward.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe does have a murmur.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow serious?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe need imaging to answer that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat are the possibilities?\u201d<\/p>\n
She described them without drama.<\/p>\n
Some murmurs in very young animals disappeared as they grew.<\/p>\n
Others reflected congenital abnormalities.<\/p>\n
An echocardiogram would show the structure and blood flow through Steve\u2019s heart.<\/p>\n
Greg listened without interrupting for nearly a full minute.<\/p>\n
Then the questions began.<\/p>\n
Would he need sedation?<\/p>\n
Was sedation dangerous at his size?<\/p>\n
Would feeding beforehand matter?<\/p>\n
How long would the scan take?<\/p>\n
Would it hurt?<\/p>\n
Dr. Singh answered every question.<\/p>\n
I watched Greg take notes.<\/p>\n
Not because he distrusted her.<\/p>\n
Because writing gave his hands something to do.<\/p>\n
Finally Dr. Singh said, \u201cWe can perform the echocardiogram today.\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg looked relieved.<\/p>\n
\u201cGood.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThere is one practical issue.\u201d<\/p>\n
His expression changed.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe rescue approved basic stabilization, but specialized cardiac imaging isn\u2019t fully covered by their emergency budget.\u201d<\/p>\n
Denise had warned us expenses could arise.<\/p>\n
Still, I felt my stomach tighten.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow much?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n
Dr. Singh gave us the estimate.<\/p>\n
It was not catastrophic.<\/p>\n
It was also not small.<\/p>\n
Greg answered before I did.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo it.\u201d<\/p>\n
I looked at him.<\/p>\n
Dr. Singh waited.<\/p>\n
\u201cGreg.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe should talk.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThere\u2019s nothing to talk about.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, there is.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe needs the test.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI agree.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThen\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe still discuss spending that amount of money.\u201d<\/p>\n
His face changed.<\/p>\n
Not anger.<\/p>\n
Shock.<\/p>\n
As though I had reduced Steve to a line item.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat sounds cold.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt is not cold to talk to your spouse before spending a large amount.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe could have a heart defect.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI heard her.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd you want to debate money?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI want us to make the choice together.\u201d<\/p>\n
Dr. Singh quietly stood.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll give you a few minutes.\u201d<\/p>\n
After she left, Greg turned toward me.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know what I\u2019m going to say.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo why waste time?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause this is exactly what we\u2019ve been talking about.\u201d<\/p>\n
He stared.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou decide you\u2019re responsible. Then you decide responsibility gives you authority.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s not fair.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt is.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe has nobody else.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe has a rescue organization.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThey can\u2019t pay for the test.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThey can pay for part.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know what I mean.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
I lowered my voice.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou are already treating him as if he belongs to you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg looked toward the door.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe belongs to someone.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFor six to eight weeks.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMaybe.\u201d<\/p>\n
There it was.<\/p>\n
Maybe.<\/p>\n
The word hung between us.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat does that mean?\u201d<\/p>\n
He said nothing.<\/p>\n
\u201cGreg.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, you do.\u201d<\/p>\n
He rubbed both hands across his face.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat if nobody wants a kitten with a heart problem?\u201d<\/p>\n
I understood.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019ve thought about keeping him.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat was a very fast no.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m saying hypothetically.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou hate hypotheticals.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI hate yours.\u201d<\/p>\n
I leaned back.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you want to adopt Steve?\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg looked stricken.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t want him sick.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat wasn\u2019t my question.\u201d<\/p>\n
He stood and walked to the window.<\/p>\n
Outside, cars moved through the clinic parking lot.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s honest.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIf he needs long-term care\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cGreg.\u201d<\/p>\n
He closed his eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cRight.\u201d<\/p>\n
Not our decision yet.<\/p>\n
Not our job yet.<\/p>\n
He turned back.<\/p>\n
\u201cCan we please do the scan?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n
Relief flooded his face.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut together.\u201d<\/p>\n
He nodded.<\/p>\n
\u201cTogether.\u201d<\/p>\n
We approved the echocardiogram.<\/p>\n
The waiting took forty-seven minutes.<\/p>\n
Greg checked the clock nineteen times.<\/p>\n
I counted.<\/p>\n
When Dr. Singh returned, she sat again with Steve\u2019s images displayed on a tablet.<\/p>\n
Greg\u2019s hand found mine.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere is an abnormality,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
His fingers tightened.<\/p>\n
She pointed to the image.<\/p>\n
\u201cOne vessel has not closed the way it normally should after birth.\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg stared at the screen.<\/p>\n
\u201cCan it close later?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPossibly, but at this stage I would not count on that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat does it do?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt allows blood to flow in a direction it shouldn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCan it kill him?\u201d<\/p>\n
I felt Greg tense beside me.<\/p>\n
Dr. Singh did not soften the answer.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf it becomes severe and remains untreated, it can lead to heart failure.\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg went pale.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut,\u201d she added, \u201cthis is often treatable.\u201d<\/p>\n
He looked up.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDepending on his size and how he develops, medication may help temporarily. Definitive treatment can involve a procedure to close the abnormal vessel.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSurgery?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIn some cases.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot today.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut eventually.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPossibly.\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg released my hand and leaned forward.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat are his chances?\u201d<\/p>\n
Dr. Singh paused.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf he continues gaining weight and remains stable, we have good reasons to be hopeful.\u201d<\/p>\n
Hopeful.<\/p>\n
Not guaranteed.<\/p>\n
Greg hated language like that.<\/p>\n
But this time he did not push.<\/p>\n
Instead he looked at Steve through the small window in the treatment-room door.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen can he come home?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTonight, if he continues feeding.\u201d<\/p>\n
Home.<\/p>\n
Neither of us corrected him.<\/p>\n
On the drive back, Greg held the empty carrier because Steve would remain at the clinic until evening.<\/p>\n
For ten minutes he said nothing.<\/p>\n
Then he asked, \u201cWhat would you do?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAbout what?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIf he needs surgery.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019ll decide when we know.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s not what I asked.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know.\u201d<\/p>\n
He stared through the windshield.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t want to wait until he\u2019s ours emotionally and then discover we can\u2019t help him.\u201d<\/p>\n
I looked at him.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s already yours emotionally.\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg said nothing.<\/p>\n
That evening, Steve came back to us with medication, instructions, and another follow-up appointment.<\/p>\n
Susan greeted him by climbing directly over his face.<\/p>\n
Steve protested loudly.<\/p>\n
Greg laughed.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere he is.\u201d<\/p>\n
He settled both kittens into the box.<\/p>\n
Then his phone buzzed.<\/p>\n
A message from the rescue.<\/p>\n
Greg read it.<\/p>\n
His smile disappeared.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
He handed me the phone.<\/p>\n
The rescue had received an inquiry from a potential adopter.<\/p>\n
Not for both kittens.<\/p>\n
For Susan alone.<\/p>\n
Greg stared at the box.<\/p>\n
We had spent the entire day worrying that Steve might not survive.<\/p>\n
Now a different possibility had arrived.<\/p>\n
He might survive.<\/p>\n
And lose his sister.<\/p>\n
\u201cA heart murmur?\u201d Greg said the words as if repeating them might change their meaning. I watched him grip the phone tighter. \u201cThat doesn\u2019t necessarily mean something terrible,\u201d I said. … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":13464,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13473","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-insightdrama"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13473","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13473"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13473\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13497,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13473\/revisions\/13497"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/13464"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13473"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13473"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/insightdrama.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13473"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}